That was beautiful, and you know it.
TruthGuardian
It was unhygienic and statistically improbable.
SunshineGuy
But REAL. Which is why I’m winning 36-28 in our verification battles.
TruthGuardian
Yes, but your failures tend to be spectacular. Let’s not forget that you were so adamant that the “met while watching the solar eclipse in Seattle” story was real until I pointed out Seattle had complete cloud cover that day. Basic meteorology.
SunshineGuy
I guess we’re about to find out whether this is a porta-potty or a solar eclipse story. And those are words I never thought I’d type…
TruthGuardian
Yet, somehow, that’s only the third weirdest thing you’ve typed this month. Remember, “love is valid even in airport security lines?”
I laugh out loud.
This is the thing about my conversations with TruthGuardian. They are always entertaining.
Personally, I love the idea that you could meet your life partner at a standard location like a grocery store, that life could be trundling along normally one day, and then be completely transformed.
My mom has a cushion with an embroidered saying:Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life…love comes along and brings you a fairy tale.
Maybe that’s why I like reading all the stories on the QueerWaystoFallinLove forum. It constantly reminds me that I could be one moment away from meeting the love of my life.
Talking about potentially meeting someone special, I glance up from my screen and nearly choke on air.
Cute Coffee Shop Guy is here again today. That makes five times in the last two weeks that I’ve seen him. He’s set up in a far corner, laptop open, completely absorbed in whatever he’s working on.
I watch him as he types. He really looks like someone ordered tall, dark, and handsome from a catalog and they accidentally sent the deluxe version.
Unfortunately, despite the fact that I’ve scrutinized him closely every time I’ve seen him, my gaydar doesn’t register a blip from him. It’s completely silent, like when you’re trying to get a radio signal in a bunker. He could be straight, he could be gay, he could be a beautiful alien sent to earth to torment other coffee shop patrons… Who knows?
I angle my laptop toward him because it has an assortment of stickers on the back, includingError 404: Straight Not FoundandPowered by Plants. It’s a cunning way to let him know that I’m both gay and a vegetarian, just in case those are two of the traits he looks for in a partner.
Yes, I’m aware this is a deeply unhinged communication strategy. No, I will not be taking questions at this time.
And despite the absolute lack of any evidence that he bats for my team, I can’t help phrasing a potential post on ShareYourGlow.
I met my husband at my favorite coffee shop. It took me a few weeks to work up the courage to talk to him. Finally, I “accidentally” spilled coffee near his table (not ON him. I’m not a monster). He helped me clean up and said, “If you wanted my attention, you could have just said hi.” I died of embarrassment. Then lived again when he asked if I wanted to share his table. That was four years ago. We got married in that coffee shop.
But despite sending out strong psychic-connection vibes, Cute Coffee Shop Guy doesn’t raise his gaze from his laptop.
I turn my attention back to the forum, looking at the next post that is glowing up. As I read about two guys who were both stood up by dates at the same restaurant and then decided to have dinner together, the question arises.
When is my happily-ever-after story going to come along?
CHAPTER TWO
TRAVIS
I narrow my eyes in suspicion as I read the post that’s currently glowing up fast on my screen.
