You don’t have to be sarcastic. Sorry it didn’t go well. I thought you guys would have a lot in common.
Travis
We do have a lot in common. And your comprehension skills appear to be failing you. Didn’t you read the part about him being my soulmate?
Brocker
Sure, because you, of all people, are going to tell me after one date, you’ve found your soulmate.
I glance up at Devin.
“You up for taking our first selfie together?”
“Sure.”
I pull him close to me, and he snuggles in, his head resting into the crook between my neck and my shoulder.
After I snapped it, Devin takes my phone off me to study it.
“We’re really cute together,” he declares.
I take it back to look at the photo. We’re both smiling. In fact, I almost don’t recognize myself because of the ridiculously large grin that’s hijacked my entire face. Our tousled hair and our naked chests mean Brocker won’t need to use much imagination to know exactly what we’ve just been doing.
“Are you okay with me sending this photo to Brocker?” I ask.
He’s grinning. “Sure.”
Travis
Here, because your comprehension skills seem to be failing you, a picture is supposed to be worth a thousand words. See if this helps you figure it out.
I attach the photo and press send.
There’s a delay of a minute before I see dots appear on the screen.
Brocker
WTF???
I literally just dropped my phone after seeing that photo.
Is he still with you?
Travis
Yes. I don’t think he’s going anywhere anytime soon.
Brocker
I repeat, WTF???
Are you being held against your will? Should I call Mom? The police? A priest? NASA to report this obvious body-snatching incident because clearly an alien has overtaken your brain?
Travis
I’m terminating this conversation because I have significantly better things to be doing right now.
Brocker
