You…calculated the exact cost?
TruthGuardian
$1.99 per bottle. Basic math.
Math isn’t my strong suit, but it definitely is TruthGuardian’s. He tends to cite weird statistics the way normal people quote song lyrics.
SunshineGuy
Maybe he was shopping for a restaurant? Or meal prepping? Or just REALLY loves seasoning?
TruthGuardian
Then why didn’t the story mention that? Convenient omission.
SunshineGuy
Because it’s a cute love story, not a grocery receipt?
TruthGuardian
Also, “identical tote bags?” People notice their own bags. Different wear patterns, different feel. You don’t accidentally grab the wrong one.
SunshineGuy
In the dark? After meeting someone cute? Your brain isn’t exactly firing on all cylinders.
TruthGuardian
The story says they used phone flashlights. So it wasn’t even that dark.
I stare at my screen. TruthGuardian’s commitment to debunking joy is almost impressive. If cynicism were an Olympic sport, this man would be on a Wheaties box.
SunshineGuy
Has anyone ever told you that you’re exhausting?
TruthGuardian
I think you have mentioned that occasionally over the last few years. Has anyone told you that you’re gullible?
I can’t help smiling. This is such a familiar exchange between us that I could almost write the rest of the script.
SunshineGuy
It’s called having faith in humanity.
TruthGuardian
It’s called ignoring obvious plot holes. I’m checking power outage records for all Trader Joe’s locations from eight years ago.
SunshineGuy
There are like 500 stores!
TruthGuardian
608, actually. I’ll start with major metropolitan areas.
