Here in the Arsadia, I’d felt free. But now? It was like I was trying to keep myself small so I wouldn’t anger anyone, tiptoeing on glass, afraid to get cut.
With Alaryk, I’d never felt that way. We’dworked. Our otherness finding another half in each other. I thought we were both surprised how easy it had been…even when he’d made me so mad I could spit.
I remembered the first night we’d had sex. The rage that he’d morphed into desire. How out of control my magic had been, overwhelmed and spiraling. And he’d been my pillar, as he’d always been. He’d pushed me enough but then given me what I’d needed.
We had worked perfectly.
I remembered his kiss, firm and unyielding. Wanting. Gods, how he’dwanted. How strong he was, how his big calloused hands rasped across my skin, gripping me tight like he was afraid I’d leave.
My breath hitched. My hand trailed beneath the coverlet, finding the space between my legs, already beginning to heat and throb. A tiny little coil inside my lower belly, getting tighter and tighter as I thought of Alaryk, alone in my bed.
I stroked and pressed, wanting him to be beside me so I could reach over and feel him. I wanted his mouth on mine, telling me it was going to be okay.
I should’ve told him I love him too,I thought.
A sharp stab in my chest made my hands drift away. My body was wanting but my heart was heavy. Frustrated, I got out of bed and went to the window, sitting on the stone ledge as I peered out into the dark courtyard.
I didn’t know how long I stared out the window, but my heart jolted when I saw movement beyond the half wall—a torso that I spied moving beyond the trees, and it wasn’t untilthey walked beyond one of the trunks that their head came into view.
I saw the silver hair first. Even in the dim moonlight, it glowed like a beacon. My heart gave a pang, not out of fear this time but out of nerves.
I hadn’t seen him since Ny’am a few days before. I’d stayed within the walls of the hatchery, like it was my own prison, only leaving once to go and see Brune.
What is he doing here?I thought.
And just when I thought that, his eyes flicked to me over the wall—blue, but not glowing-heartstone blue.
I hesitated for only a moment, feeling slightly guilty sneaking out of my room to slip into the courtyard after dark. Tarkosh had her ears perked, and surely she’d hear the creak of the door.
But I only debated for a moment before I slipped away from the window and did just that: sneak out of my room, pad down the quiet hallway with held breath, and slip through the courtyard door after I unbolted it, the sound loud enough to make me grit my teeth.
The last time I’d done this…it had been to meet Ryak and Nevin. Had that been nearly two weeks ago now?
Outside, there was a chill in the air. The changing of seasons. The riders would be heading to the Tharken cliffs soon for theilla’rosh, the choosing, or so Syris had mentioned to me. In another few short weeks, my time would’ve been up here in the Arsadia.
Never to return. Never to see Alaryk again.
“I thought you’d called to me,” Alaryk murmured when I met him at the wall, pressing my front to the stone. The wall came up to my shoulders, but Alaryk could easily perch his arms across it, peering down at me, a barrier between us when I only wanted to feel those arms aroundme.
My hand was close to his wrist. I rested my little finger against the skin there. His lips quirked, and instead of playing acoy little game, he reached out and grabbed my hand. He rubbed it between his own, callouses rough but he was so warm, and I nearly closed my eyes at how good it felt.
He brought the back of my hand to his lips, which felt equally as good. Then he paused, his eyes flickering and sharpening. It took me a moment to realize why. He couldsmellme. I remembered…I’d been touching myself.
My cheeks flamed and I gasped, snatching back my hand, a low, embarrassed laugh sounding next.
“I see,” he said, his voice a little huskier than it’d been. “That’s why it felt like you were calling for me.”
In a way, I supposed I had been.
“You…you could feel that?”
He inclined his head. “I’ve kept the bond dampened for both of our sakes,” he told me. “But heightened emotions can always peek through.”
That didn’t do anything to calm the heat running up my neck.
“I was worried. I was just going to check to make sure the hatchery was secure,” he said.
That made my heart flutter. I’d been so miserable the last few days, trying to come to terms with everything that had happened.HowI thought I should feel after the violent assault versus how I actually felt. Syris seemed to tiptoe around me, like any moment, she expected me to crumble to the floor. Tarkosh too. Though she didn’t trust me, the hatchery master had pushed another bowl of stew over to me at dinner, saying I needed to keep up my strength. Had she noticed I hadn’t been eating?
