He’d called me that once. Perhaps it was just a pretty little name he called all the females he encountered. That knowledge felt like ice in my veins.
“Fine,” Lydrasa repeated, and her giggle was delighted. “And this is who you turned me away for? A ‘fine’ fuck? When we’d been spectacular together?”
Leave,my mind screamed at me. This was cruel. I didn’t need to listen to it.
Kaldur said nothing in reply. Were they laughing at me? Was this whole situation just a big joke to him?
Of course it is,I couldn’t help but realize. He was so far above my station in life, and so was Lydrasa. So was every noble at the gathering down in the ballroom. They’d been born into wealth and privilege and bloodlines.
Me?
I had a made-up last name because I didn’t even know my real one.
I was nothing like them. And in Kaldur’s eyes, I would only ever be a keeper. He’d tried, desperately, to change that.
But not for my benefit.
Forhis.
“How long will you keep this charade up?” Lydrasa asked once her laugh died down. Her tone was hard, unyielding.Serious.“You already know what the nobles are saying. If you can’t be trusted to make sound decisions within your own keep, then how can you throughout Vyaan? They’re scared you’ll turn out like your predecessor. It took years to stabilize this territory again. And if you marry her?—”
A low warning growl grumbled from Kaldur, making evenmefreeze outside the door.
“I will tell you this one last time, Lydrasa, and then I will never speak about it again. She is my blood giveronly. We have a contract in place. And once I decide I don’t want her anymore, that contract will be ended and I will move on with my life.” He said it all slowly and clipped, as if he were speaking with a child. “This changes nothing concerning the future of Vyaan. I am not my uncle. I remember how his actions—his selfish actions—changed this territory. It won’t be the same with me. And you insult me by thinking I would allow a conniving little keeper to wiggle her way into my bed and try to take a title that willneverbelong to her.”
Lydrasa went silent. I simply felt numb. Velle reached out ahand and squeezed it around my wrist, wanting to pull me away from the door.
But I was rooted like adalliatree, who’d chosen a place of permanence, listening to two people try to cut me down.
And one of those people I’d thought myself falling in love with. Every lingering look, every sweet curl of his lips, every ragged breath against my skin…it had meant nothing.
Only now I understood. I saw the truth of what he thought of me. And I was nothing. A passing amusement. A dessert he liked to sample. Until one day when he would decide he’d had enough and then would toss me away. Forgotten.
I would—and could—never love someone like that.
How had I convinced myself otherwise? How had I been so blind to who he truly was?
“Youdoseem indifferent to her,” Lydrasa admitted quietly. “You barely looked at her tonight. She’s a pretty little thing, but I know she’s not your type. You’d eat her alive. The irony is that she would let you.”
Kaldur said, “She’s young. And more than a little naive. But you’re right—this life is not for someone like her. A keeper could never be aKylaira.”
Finally, I pulled away, tugging my wrist from Velle’s grip. And I quickly retreated from the hallway, ignoring the sound of my friend rushing after me.
“I just want to be alone,” I whispered, fighting off tears. “Please.”
I fled.
CHAPTER 23
ERINA
Ipulled my shawl around my shoulders tighter as I looked out over the quiet night of eastern Vyaan. It was in the early hours of morning, and only recently had I heard the last of the guests departing from the keep.
Sleep wouldn’t come, so I’d long stopped trying. The only thing that made me feel better was the icy night air on my hot cheeks. My eyes stung from all the tears, but I didn’t have any left in me.
I just felt drained. But strangely at peace.
I knew what I had to do. It was the only thing Icoulddo.
