That was when I knew I had a chance with her still. Erina Denoren, with her open heart, was still there, as she had been before. Only now she was more guarded, a wall built up around her, one just like mine.
I only needed to break it down.
And then she might be mine again.
CHAPTER 36
ERINA
Icouldn’t sleep that night, tossing and turning long past midnight.
A hint of nausea crept up on me a few hours before dawn. When I’d thrown up the contents of my stomach, I decided to go make tea in the kitchens. Normally a keeper would be woken for such things, but I would never do that.
Kaldur’s keep was quiet, everyone likely in their beds. I took one of the glowing Halo orbs from my room, and it followed me, lighting the way to the darkened kitchens, casting a golden glow on the looming walls.
When I pushed open the door, I was greeted by a familiar sight. A large yet cozy room, the stone floor having been freshly scrubbed, the stone hearth and oven on one side, neatly arranged with everything Saira would need come morning, and a long wooden table stretching down the center. Dark wood beams were overhead, hung with drying herbs and flowers and little ribbons that Saira’s daughter tied whenever she came to visit.
On the far side of the kitchen lay another hearth, though it was rarely lit except in winter. It was usually more than warm enough in the kitchens from the oven. Next to it was a door thatled out toward the North Terrace, where supplies where usually delivered.
I went to the stove and put on a small kettle for water, shoving fire fuel into the open door below before locking it closed. Soon, the griddle turned hot, starting to heat the water, and I went in search of the tea in Saira’s stores. She’d made it for me yesterday, and I found it just where I’d remembered her putting it. A little blue tin that the healer, Ekor, had pushed over to me after my first visit with him.
I listened to the quiet of the kitchen, having not heard a peaceful quiet in a long time. Even in Laras, though I’d been alone most of the time, the noise from the city had always funneled its way past door and windows. And the city had always seemed to be alive, awake at all hours.
I’d missed the quiet, and so I savored it. After I poured my tea, I took it over to the table, trying to ignore the nausea rising. I blew on the surface of the water and took a sip, though it burned my tongue.
When I was half-finished with the mug, I felt my stomach begin to settle. I eyed yesterday’s loaf of bread, still sitting in a basket along the range, and I got that too, digging out Saira’s preserves from the small cellar, hoping she wouldn’t mind.
With my loot, I returned to the table and happily munched on jam and sweet bread. It wasn’t half bad even with the bitterness of my tea.
The door to the kitchens creaked open.
I shouldn’t have been surprised when I saw it was Kaldur. We regarded one another from a distance. I wondered why he was up so late.
He seemed to be wondering the same thing until his gaze dropped to my haul on the table and I saw a small quirk of his lips. Stepping inside, he closed the door behind him.
I studied him as he gazed around the emptiness of thekitchens, as if he’d never seen it before, though of course he had been here many times.
As if hearing my thoughts, he said quietly, “It’s different without people. At night.”
Moonlight filtered in from one of the windows along the North Terrace, next to the dark hearth. He slid onto the bench opposite me, leaning his forearms on the wide expanse of the table.
He knocked on it. “This has been here for centuries.”
My brow raised, peering down at the table with new eyes. “Really?”
“It was a gift from the Kaazor, if you can believe it.”
I nearly jolted. The Kaazor were our enemies to the north of the continent. Once, I knew, there had been peace between us. Now? That was an entirely different story.
What other surprises were riddled throughout this keep? I wondered, smoothing my hand over the black wood. Even that old, it was in incredible shape.
Far too many secrets and mysteries were hidden within these walls, I decided. The age of House Kaalium truly was awe-inspiring. And I felt out of my element, a stranger who was never supposed to belong.
“Why are you awake?” I asked, meeting his eyes. With the table between us, I felt myself relax. When he was too close, when I felt his touch…that was when the turmoil and confusion and longing began.
Yes, it was much better if he was out of arm’s reach.
“I was in my study,” he answered, “and caught scent of you.”
