“I’d had money until it was stolen,” she argued, frowning up at me. “I was doingfineuntil that night. Getting a room at Ikrin’s was only temporary, until I found a better job.”
Hearing her speak about this didn’t help my temper. Hearing her plans to try to make a better life for herself in Laras didn’t help my temper.
And I’d put her in that position. I’d driven her to Laras. She’d been angry and proud enough to reject the money I’d given her.
“You should’ve asked for money,” I growled.
“Why?” she said, glaring. “So it could cement who you thought I was in your mind?”
“You are pregnant withmyfucking child, Erina,” I hissed, my chest heaving.
We stared at one another. I could almost scent the rush of her blood beneath her skin, and venom flooded over my tongue. I hadn’t meant to escalate this, but to think that she’d been in danger and that I could have helped her ate at me.
Her eyes dropped to my lips, and I felt the heat rise between us. I could hear her heartbeat. She might’ve hated me but she still desired me.
This wasn’t about her not asking me for money. This was aboutmefailing her so completely, and that dissipated any lust I felt in that charged moment.
It was another reminder of how I’d fucked everything up. And I was taking it out on her.
“This is my fault,” I told her. Surprise flashed in her eyes when she moved them away from my lips. “I’m sorry. I’m getting angry over a hypothetical. I never would’ve gotten the letter anyway, even if you had asked for help.”
“I did ask you for help,” she said. “Just not the kind you’re used to giving. I wanted totalkto you.”
I flinched. She was right. When you were wealthy, you thought you could throw money at every problem and it would be fixed. In most cases, it was. Because people were inherently greedy.
I’d done it to Erina, even. That last night in my study. I’d smirked as I’d offered to make her my mistress, told her to name her price for her place in my bed.
I’d thought she would take it. In my arrogance, I’d thought everyone could be bought.
But not mykyrana.
My shoulders dropped. My head lowered too until I was bent forward, my forehead pressed into the crook of her neck—a comforting position because I could smell her so strongly. She floated in my head likeloresmoke.
“Kaldur,” she whispered.
I was careful of my horns, however. I didn’t want to accidentally cut her.
“I only feel the need to protect you,” I murmured. “I failed before. That’s what I’m angry about. I failed so spectacularly that it’s astonishing, and I can only blame myself.”
I raised my head. Her expression was guarded, but I knew she waslistening. Listening carefully to what I was saying.
“I want you to rely on me,” I told her. “To lean on me if you need anything at all.”
“Because you feel…guilty?”
I huffed out a breath. “Because Ineedto. I never understood what it meant to have akyrana. A part of me, truthfully, detests it.”
Her brow furrowed.
“Because suddenly, instantly, there’s someone else in existence that can be your complete downfall,” I told her. “I know you’vebeen on your own for a long time, Erina. I just want you to know that you’re not anymore.”
Her expression morphed until it looked like I’d struck her. I saw the words sink in, as if she was just realizing it for herself, despite what our relationship currently was: one of mistrust and lingering bitterness.
“I know you don’t trust me,” I said. “But I’m not going anywhere, Erina. And I’ll prove that to you every day until you believe me.”
She looked unsure. And that was when I saw it.
I saw how desperately shewantedto believe me. That wonderment and hope in her eyes that had never quite left. There was a part of her that still had feelings for me, feelings I’d done my best to ignore or deny when she’d offered them to me once so willingly.
