“Before I broke your heart,” he answered. “I knew for certain when we had dinner that night at the cottage. I knew for certain that you loved me then too.”
“You pulled away that night,” I pointed out. “Because you were scared?”
“Yes,” he answered, his lips pressing.
“Why?”
He blew out a harsh breath. “There’s something you need to understand. But I hardly know where to begin.”
“Try from the beginning,” I suggested. “I’ll be here.”
Kythel didn’t say anything, not yet. But he did lower his hands from my face, clasped my hand in his own, and tugged me through the garden. I didn’t know where he was taking me, but I had explored his gardens, the extravagant maze of them, and had a guess.
Lush, fragrant perfume from the various flowers greeted us as we passed. The warm season was blooming, a gentle breeze winding its way through the maze, guiding us, leading us. Hidden between two tall bright purple shrubs was an alcove made of stone, a bench carved from it.
Kythel sat me there, but then he retreated, walking a little ways to the left, pacing back to the right, his arms clasped behind his back. It took me a moment to realize he wasnervous.
“Tell me,” I ordered quietly. “What do you fear?”
“It’s not quite fear,” he admitted. “But I’ve never recounted this story. Not once. Not ever. But I must. For you. Because in doing so, I hope that you will have a better understanding of why I am the way I am. Why I did what I did.”
“Then help me understand,” I said simply, shrugging up one shoulder.
Behind him, the sky was deepening into dramatic shades of purples and inky blues.
“My aunt Aina was a peace ambassador during the Pe’ji War,” he started.
“I remember it,” I murmured quietly. Though I’d been young, it had been all over the news coms throughout the Quadrants.
“You know that the Pe’jians lost that war. We came to their aid, but it was much too late. Since we were allies of theirs, my aunt was brought in to negotiate on behalf of the Pe’jians in the aftermath. But she was murdered, assassinated by a team of United Alliance forces. A human unit.”
My throat went tight.
“The human leading that unit was Gemma’s father,” Kythel added.
“Azur’s wife?” I asked, lips parted in shock. “TheKylairaof Laras?”
“Yes,” he said. “But we can discussthatlater, if you wish. There were other circumstances surrounding their marriage, none of them…ideal. But it has nothing to do with my part in this.”
Hesitantly, I nodded. I remembered what Lesana had told me once, that House Kaalium had many demons. Was this one of them?
“Go on,” I urged quietly.
“I told you that I had been studying under an architect in Laras. That I wanted to follow in his footsteps, tocreatefor the Kaalium, not rule a territory of it. You were right. You wondered once if I had evenwantedErzos. The truth, at that time, had been no. I didn’t want Erzos then. The thought of coming here, serving my life here, it was suffocating. Before Pe’ji, I told my father that I had no intention of coming to Erzos. That I wanted to travel the Quadrants to expand my studies, to become an apprentice to a master architect who lived on Cron’yu, whose training was said to be rigorous.”
“He didn’t like that, I’m guessing,” I said, my heart twisting in my chest.
“No,” Kythel said softly, holding my gaze. “He didn’t. It was the first fracture of our relationship—one that hasn’t quite mended, even to this day. What happened on Pe’ji made it all the worse.
“Aina was the mediator in our family. She reminds me of Kaldur, actually, because she was brash and strong and outspoken. But she was incredibly diplomatic. She could sell anything to anyone, and she was a talented negotiator.”
“You said she had negotiated peace with the Kaazor,” I remembered.
“Yes,” Kythel said, inclining his head. “She saw the discord that my…rebellionhad caused within our family. She came to speak with me. The war on Pe’ji was in its final stages by then. She knew she would be leaving soon, and she asked me to come with her. I wanted to travel to see other planets, other cultures…what better way to get perspective than to help prevent the complete destruction of one?”
My brow furrowed. I thought…I was beginning to understand.
“She thought my temperament would be well suited for peace negotiations. She asked me to join her on Pe’ji, to accompany her, to aid her, and I accepted,” he said, his voice ending on a rueful note.
