“I only wanted to ensure that you wouldn’t want for anything, Millie,” he said, his voice tired. “I didn’t want you to feel like you were trapped, like when you were trying to reach your father. No one should have to feel that way. Even if I couldn’t be with you, I still wanted to take care of you. That’s why I did it.”
“Because that’s what you do, right?” I couldn’t help but ask. “Everything becomes your responsibility, your duty.”
“That’s not what it was,” Kythel said quietly, shaking his head. “Iwantto take care of you. I crave it. You’re not my duty, you’re mykyrana.”
“Did it make you feel better?” I asked. “Did it assuage your guilt, paying me off because at that point you had chosen another female over me?”
Maybe that was a little too harsh,I told myself, especially when he flinched. It didn’t make me feel better, hurting him. It made me feel worse.
His jaw tightened, and he stepped closer, taking the Halo orb and tossing it away so it hovered above our heads. He took my face into his cold hands. “If it meant giving you the freedom to do whatever you wanted to do, then yes, it did make me feel better. Was it influenced by guilt? No. I only wanted you to be happy, Millie. But that was then, and this is now.”
“What does that mean?” I asked, flustered by his nearness. “You don’t want me to be happynow?”
“Are you looking for an argument,sasiral?” he said, but his tone was almostaffectionate.
Was I?
Perhaps,I thought.
“If you want to send back the credits, you can,” he added. “I would prefer that you didn’t, in case you ever have need of it, but…it doesn’t matter anyway.”
“Why?” I asked, my suspicion piqued by something I heard in his tone.
“Your name has been added to my accounts,” he informed me. “Every shop, vendor, marketplace throughout the Kaalium will send the bill for whatever you purchase directly to me.”
I couldn’t help but gape at him.
“How do you feel about that?” he wondered, brushing his thumb across my cheek, back and forth. He looked like he wanted to kiss me. I could see the hunger in his eyes.
“I—I don’t know,” I answered truthfully.
“I think you like it,” he declared softly.
“Oh? How so?”
“It doesn’t make you weak to want to be taken care of, Millie. You’ve had to shoulder a great burden these last months. Alone. You’re frightened to rely on me, to put your trust in me again after what I did to you. I understand that. I understand your hesitation. But I wish that you would believe me when I say that I’ll always take care of you. That I willalwayschoose you.”
Iwantedto believe it. That need felt like it was buzzing with energy in my chest, making me jittery and frustrated. But there was something holding me back. There was a barrier I couldn’t breach with Kythel.
He was right—I was scared. Scared that he would shut me out again, that I would have no say in a decision that involved both of us. We’d had an agreement until the moon winds, yes. That I would be his blood giver and then we would go our separate ways.
But neither of us had expected to fall in love. And even knowing that we had, he’d still walked away as if it didn’t matter. As ifIdidn’t matter.
“You’ve been awfully honest lately,” I bit out, my throat tight.
“Would you prefer that I lie to you, Millie?” he wondered. He shook his head. “I won’t. I’ve decided that there will be no more secrets between us. I won’t lie to you about anything.”
That…was a start.
“Ask me anything, and I’ll tell you,” he said. “You were always so open with me. You had no fear sharing your memories, your thoughts. How you felt. I’m striving to be more like you,sasiral. I’m not saying I’ll be perfect. I can’t unlearn a lifetime of control and restraint and mistrust. But with you, I don’t wantyouto ever doubt that I will hide anything.”
I could ask him anything? And he would tell me the truth?
“Do you love me?” I asked.
His eyes flashed. “Yes.”
“When did you know?”
