“Don’t you think it’s time you told me about her?” Valavik asked, raising a brow. “About what this is really about?”
I barked out a short laugh. “I told you everything already.”
“Nik, you didn’t. Because one thing I never understood about your account was how youallowedyourself to be captured in the first place. By humans, nonetheless. I know you, Rowin. You’re intelligent. You think situations through meticulously, painstakingly, before you act on them. You knew the risks of the fog but I never thought you’d be foolish enough to actually getlostin it.”
That’s because I was too busy getting lost inher,I couldn’t help but think.
He was waiting for my explanation. He was mypujerakand I knew that I owed him one. An explanation that was long overdue.
“What I said at thetassimarawas true,” I said gruffly after a long silence had passed. “When I first saw her, I experienced theknowing. I experienced Kakkari’s guiding light in that dark, dense, consuming fog.”
“Truly?” he asked quietly, his gaze rapt on me.
I inclined my head. “She vowed herself to me in the old language.Lo rune tei’ri,” I said softly. “No one speaks like that anymore. And I felt thisancientthing rise up in me at those words. That is why I call her a witch. Because underneath the Dead Mountain, I believed that shehadcast some sort of magic over me. It was the only logical explanation. In my arrogance I believed she’d taken my free will…as if it hadn’t beenmydecision all along. A decision I made, to follow her wherever she went, no matter the price.”
The words poured from me. Effortlessly. Like they’d been waiting to be set free.
“Vok,” Valavik said, the shock evident in his voice. “That was why…that was why you reacted so strangely when I offered to marry her instead.”
I ran a hand down my face. “I lost my mind in that fog, Val. My damnmind. But it wasn’t the fog that took it from me. It washer.”
Quietly, he said, “And a part of you has not forgiven her for it since.”
No truer words had been spoken.
I blew out a rough breath, leaning the back of my head against the mountain.
“Nik, I have not. And I know that she does not deserve my ire. I know that she does not deserve any of it. Iknowshe was just a tool. A tool used by the true makers of that plot to capture me. A tool used against me, though I don’t think they understood just how effective she was. She’d had no choice in it either.Vok, you should have seen how they treated her.”
Yet, I have not treated her much better, I thought, nostrils flaring.
“I cannot seem to move past this…thisbitterness. This mistrust,” I finished quietly.
“Yet, you must,” Valavik said simply. As if that would solve all my problems. “Already there are rumors within the horde this last week.”
“What rumors?”
“That you are regretting your choice ofMorakkari. That she is perhaps not as strong as they think she is.”
I scowled. “They all witnessed her power. How could they deny her?”
“You tell me, Rowin. They see theirVorakkarhardly able to look at her. You never go near her. You do not touch her, speak to her, you do not sleep in her bed. It is unnatural behavior for a mated couple, especially for a horde king and his queen. In their eyes, you don’t respect her. And ifyoudon’t respect her, how can you expect your horde to?”
It felt like a punch in the gut. The words wove down my throat, roving and merciless. They ate at my insides.
I’d thought all this myself but to hear mypujerakrepeat them, unafraid to say them out loud…it felt much, much worse.
“You are right,” I rasped, my fists clenching. “I know you are right.”
“So you must get past this,” Valavik said, emphasizing his words. “Or else Besik will get more smug as the days pass. He tells everyone who will listen howyouregret not choosing his daughter as yourMorakkari. Speaking for you as if it’s the truth! Especially after the entire horde saw you walking with Junira two days ago.”
Vok.
“She was asking me if she could tend to the planting of the new crops,” I said. “I gave her my permission and that was all. The whole encounter lasted a few moments.”
“Yet, the entirety of the horde knows about it now! Did you know that thebikkushaven’t delivered yourMorakkari’smeals since yesterday? Her ownpikimust retrieve them from the kitchens. I am told that your wife went to the seamstress this morning, to see about getting one of your furs mended, and she was turned away. Wherever she walks, your horde meets her eyes. They do not look away in respect anymore.”
I closed my eyes, swallowing hard.
