Offspring?he questioned. Jaxor had never considered that he would sire them at all. But now…there was possibility. Possibility that made hidden wants enter the forefront of his mind.
“Nix,” he said, his treacherous mouth disconnected from his mind. He cursed himself silently after that, especially when he saw the way her brows quirked.
“I don’t need more time,” she said quietly. His chest heaved, panic and desire and dread and elation making him unsteady, even sitting down.
“Nix?” he rasped.
“I think,” she started, “that sex is important in a relationship, isn’t it? To explore it.”
His heart pounded hard atrelationship.His claws curled tighter.
His voice came out rougher than he’d intended when he asked, “And if you have an opportunity to return back to your home planet? What then?”
She frowned, hesitation entering her gaze. “What do you mean?”
Perhaps she didn’t understand the finality of this, he realized. He wondered if humans mated and bonded the same way that Luxirians did. Because his Instinct, their connection, their bond decreed by the Fates? It wouldnevergo away. Even in death, it would always be there. Which was why so many fated Luxirian partners followed their mates into death, into the next life.
It was what his own sire had done, after all, turning his back on his duties as Prime Leader, leaving them to Vaxa’an. In the blink of an eye, his sire had made that decision. He’d followed their mother into the blackworld moments after she traveled on, as if he couldn’t bear to live without her for mere seconds.
“If we consummate the bond,rixella, then there is no going back,” he told her, his voice dark with the memory of his parents. Of their love for one another.
She understood. He could see the realization in her eyes and it brought him momentary relief. Maybe if she understood the magnitude of it, she wouldn’t want to jump beneath the furs with him so willingly.
“I know,” she murmured, dashing that hope.
He blinked, looking at her in surprise. “And you would so willingly give up your home, your family, for that?”
She bit her lip. “I don’t know yet. It’s an impossible question.”
“Until you know the answer,” he said, swallowing, “we cannot go through with this.”
“Everything is so new,” she said, flushing again. He’d never seen her blush so much in their time together. She brought her hands to her face, pressing the coolness of her hands to her cheeks. “But last night…if you had asked me that same question, I might have even said yes, just to get you to…”
Jaxor sobered. So, the Instinctdidaffect her?
“You felt the pull?” he asked.
She nodded. Then she lifted her gaze and admitted, “I felt like I would never be whole if you weren’t inside me. That’s crazy, isn’t it? I think I would’ve done anything you asked of me. It frightens me sometimes, thinking about what this is.”
Jaxor swallowed, the sound loud between them.
“It frightens me too,rixella,” he said, his chest aching, wanting to comfort her in the best way he could.
Unfortunately, the only way he could think to comfort her was with lies. And he’d already told her so many.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“Do you want to go to the hot springs tonight?” Jaxor asked as they ate their dinner that night. A very quiet dinner at that.
Erin bit her lip. Thepollihad been slow-roasting on the spit for most of the day. And it was delicious. It tasted like buttery chicken, but with the flakiness of white fish. Jaxor told her he preferred the gamey, tough meat of thekekevir, but thepollijust might be her favorite meal on Luxiria so far, even counting theobiraxifruit.
Even though dinner was delicious, there was distracting tension between herself and Jaxor that was difficult to ignore, that had been building throughout the day after their conversation about sex and the fated bond between them. Erin was sorry for it, not for the conversation, but for the feelings of unease that had sprung up because of it. She’d felt like she’d just gotten used to being close to him. To touching him when she wanted, to kissing him when she wanted, to teasing him when she wanted.
Now, they were back to being quiet, only this time, there was always the threat of them looking at each other and just deciding to rip each other’s clothes off for the hell of it.
Erin had been on edge all day. Yesterday, she’d had three mind-blowing orgasms. Today, she’d had none, only the memory of them. Her sex felt sensitive, primed, like it was beginning toexpectrelief regularly.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jaxor studying her. He was still waiting for a reply to his question and just thinking about the hot springs, remembering what had happened there between them, was enough for her to shake her head.
