“Nix,” he said, turning to go back to the fire pit, knowing she could handle the crops on her own.
He drew in a small breath and began prepping thepolli. He heard Erin hesitate for a moment, the back of his neck prickling as she did, but then he heard the slide of the metal bucket as she went back to the waterfall to refill it.
After she was finished, she came to sit next to him at the fire pit. For the first time, he noticed that she was wearing a new tunic, one she’d probably found in his storage chests, and a pair of his fur-lined pants, though they hung off her and she’d tied rope around her waist to secure them.
Jaxor felt even guiltier when he saw the clothes. Shame burned in his belly, anger quickly rising with it. He should’ve known to provide her with better clothes. Just because he was used to the cold, used to the elements, it didn’t mean that she was. She deserved rich, luxurious furs, smooth silks, tunics that didn’t scratch at her delicate skin.
It was on the tip of his tongue to inform her that he’d travel to the outposts soon, that he would bring back material for her if he couldn’t find anything that would fit her properly.
Then he bit his tongue, his jaw clenching, because he couldn’t make further promises to her that he didn’t know he could keep.
“Are you okay, Jaxor?” she asked quietly, watching as he finished butchering the featheredpolli.
“Tev.”
“You seem…quiet,” she observed. Then her lips quirked a little. “Well, more quiet than usual.”
Jaxor grunted, wiping his hands on a rag. He tried to think of something to say, an excuse, but couldn’t think of a good enough one.
He wasn’t good at this. Vaxa’an had always been better with females. Vaxa’an would probably know exactly what to say at that moment. But, after Sarcalla, Jaxor had very little experience that went beyond mating with females. He’d never felt that inexperience more acutely than he did at that moment.
“Does it have something to do with what happened last night?” she asked quietly, her gaze dropping down to thepolli, though he was under the impression that it was only so she wouldn’t have to look at him directly.
“Last night?” he repeated, frowning.
Her face was a little red but she didn’t say anything further.
Now Jaxor was confused. Did she think his quietness meant that he hadn’t liked what had happened last night? Did she believe that she’d done something wrong?
“Nix,rixella,” he said, his brows drawing together. “Why would you think that?”
“You’re hard to read sometimes,” she confessed softly. “I worried that maybe I was pressuring you into something last night. That maybe that was why you left early this morning. That it made you…”
Bewildered, Jaxor could only stare as her words churned up the memory of last night.
Vrax, he thought, his fists clenching. Two of his claws were dulled so they didn’t prick into his flesh, as he was used to.
He was really fucking this up.
His Instinct demanded that he soothe his female, that he calm her fears. And Jaxor tried to do just that, giving in to it for once. He drew her close, ignoring her surprised expression.
“Last night was…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “I liked what we did.Lovedit.”
Her breath hitched at that. Finally, her eyes rose to him. Her expression was shy and hopeful and it made him want to kiss her until she never second-guessed herself again. “You did?”
“Of course,” he growled.
“But…” she trailed off. “But you didn’t want to have sex last night?”
He couldn’t help the purring sound that rose unexpectedly at her words. The sound of his Instinct’s need.
He licked his lips, wondering how best to answer.
“We only recently began this between us,” he finally said when his silence grew too long. “I thought that, perhaps, we should take more time.”
“You want more time?” she asked. There wasn’t judgment in her voice, only curiosity.
Vrax,nix,he did not want more time, he thought. If he threw caution to the wind and decided once and for all to keep her for himself, she would be on her hands and knees, taking him at that very moment. He would get her heavy with his seed just to make sure their bond was unbreakable. Just the vision of that made his head swim in desire.
