“Because you love my brother and you wish to stay here with him?” Vaxa’an asked. Erin looked down at the terrace, at the feather-light slippers protecting her feet from the heated stones. “I must warn you, female, that you might not like the council’s decision. There might not be a life for him here.”
He was telling her to leave? Go back to Earth? Abandon Jaxor?
Erin felt anger rise up in her and it felt good. It felt…surprising.
“I’m pregnant,” she told him, peering up at him.
His brows rose. So, Kate hadn’t told him. Or perhaps Crystal and Lainey hadn’t told anyone after their conversation a couple days ago.
“He doesn’t know,” Erin said, seeing the question form in his mind. “Not yet. I—I haven’t told him.”
Erin had to give Vaxa’an credit. He took things in stride, but she supposed a Prime Leader would have to.
“Then do not fear, female, for your future here,” he said, inclining his head. “Your child will be of the royal bloodline and because of that, you will have—”
“I don’t care about bloodlines,” she said softly, frowning. “And I’m not angling for a secure future because I’m pregnant with your brother’s child.”
“My apologies, I did not mean to imply that. I am just…surprised by the news.”
“I know,” Erin said, feeling a little of her temper melt away. “It’s just…I’m scared. For Jaxor. For the baby. For this damn trial. He might’ve hurt me and lied to me, but that doesn’t mean that I want him…gone.”
Just the thought made her throat close.
“It doesn’t mean…there’s not a future for us,” she whispered, her vision blurring with tears. More tears. She’d never cried this much in her entire life. At least now she could blame it on hormones.
She allowed herself a small cry, all too aware that Vaxa’an was standing helplessly by, probably wishing that Kate was out here to console her. Luxirians weren’t exactly masters of showing emotions and it seemed to make them uncomfortable when others did.
Pull yourself together, she told herself. And slowly, she did, blinking back tears, wiping her face dry.
She turned her gaze towards the Black Desert, remembering when Jaxor had taken her and Crystal across it in his sandcraft. It seemed so long ago now.
“Do you think you could let me see the elder council?” Erin asked quietly, calming. Only after a good cry did she feel this calm. She felt…okay. Like everything might be okay. She turned to look at Vaxa’an. “To speak with them?”
Vaxa’an inclined his head. “I can arrange it,tev. But I do not know if—”
“I just have to try,” Erin said. “I know it might not make a difference, but I won’t give up trying to get him released.”
She took a deep breath and nodded, certain of what she wanted to do.
“Are you going to the command center?” she asked.
“Tev.”
“I’d like to see Jaxor,” she said.
I’ve left this too long, she thought, a little ashamed.
The last two nights, she’d lain in bed and asked herself if she could forgive Jaxor.
After hearing about his motivations, she believed that she could. Especially after knowing that even after everything, he would have still chosen her over the vaccine for his people. That spoke volumes.
So, yes, she had left him too long…and it was time to see her mate.
Vaxa’an studied her, his head tilted to the side. Erin wondered what he made of her. Crying one moment, then demanding to speak to his council and his imprisoned brother in the next.
“Very well,” he said. “I will take you to him.”
“Thank you.”
