Finally, she asked, “And what of your brother?”
“What about him?”
“Why did you lie about that too?” she asked, though her voice didn’t hold the venom it held earlier. “Maybe you didn’texactlylie, but you certainly didn’t tell me.”
“It did not…” he trailed off, unsure how to put it into words. “It no longer seemed important who my brother was.”
“You don’t think it’s important that your brother is the Prime Leader?” she asked.
“In my mind,” he started, “that life was no longer mine to claim. I used to be a prince of Luxiria. But I stopped being one the moment I left to seek out theMevirax. It was like a death. I would not sully my brother’s name in returning to the Golden City as Jaxor’an.”
“So you became Jaxor,” she finished. “It was why you were so angry when I called you by the name Cruxan had given you. I heard him call you Vaxa’an. I thought…”
She trailed off.
“In our language, only the royal bloodline can add on the clarifier to our chosen names. It is a sign of high respect.”
“And you didn’t think yourself worthy of it,” she whispered, finishing the thought for him.
Jaxor’s gaze went down to his chains.
“I could not offer you that life,” he said softly. “The life you would have had as my mate, if I were still Jaxor’an. It embarrassed me, just the mere thought of telling you about who I was. Because you would see how far I’d fallen.”
“You thought I would reject you because you were no longer a prince of Luxiria?” she asked.
He blew out a breath. “I should have told you regardless,rixella. I know that. There is much that I would change if we started again.”
“I don’t think that’s possible for us, Jaxor,” Erin said softly. “To start again.”
The words hurt more than Jaxor expected. They felt…final. And though he would rather eat shards of glass than ask the question, he still asked it. “Will you return to Earth now that the crystal has been recovered?”
He hadn’t thought much beyond seeing Erin again. But now, he knew that his trial loomed. He knew that he would either be exiled or sentenced to death for his crimes against the Golden City, for his crimes against Erin and Crystal. There was very little chance he’d be pardoned.
“Is that what you want?” she whispered.
Maybe it would be better if she left before the trial, so she doesn’t see the verdict, he thought. But Jaxor was trying to take his brother’s advice. He was trying to forgive himself for his actions, to make peace with them. He’d told his brother he wanted to be a better male for Erin’s sake, to be worthy of her, to be proud of the male he was.
“I want you to be safe,” he rasped, his gaze connecting with her own. “I want you to be happy, no matter where you might be.”
She was crying again, soft tears tracking down her face.
And because he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t ask it, he asked, “Is there no hope for us,rixella? Have I ruined this beyond repair?”
He didn’t know if they’d even have time to repair it, but he needed to know regardless. She’d once asked him,would you ask me to stay if you could?
Right then, Jaxor had nothing to lose.
“I don’t know,” she whispered, wiping at her damp cheeks. “Hearing the things that Tavar told me…it broke my heart thinking that I never really knew you at all.”
Anguish burst in his chest at her words.
“And then I saw you in the forest after Po’grak attacked me,” she said, looking at him with glittering eyes, “and I felt all these things come back to me. And even then, even when I believed that you had betrayed me, I was still so relieved to see you, sohappyeven though I felt it tear me in half. I just don’t know. I’m so confused.”
A sob tore from her throat and Jaxor went to her, pressing his forehead against her, trying to calm her. And though she might not want him near, she still seemed to settle down at his touch.
Erin cried softly for long moments as Jaxor stroked her hair. He remembered the sight of her that night. She’d looked haunted. She’d lost weight. She’d been so weak, her skin as thin as parchment. And all Jaxor had wanted was to protect her at all cost. All he’d wanted was to tear the throat out of anyone who had brought her harm—even himself.
He’d realized in that moment that he loved her. He loved her as her blood was pooling around her in that dark forest. He would never forget the terror he’d felt right then, thinking that she would be lost to him forever.
