“Very well,” he murmured. “When do I get to askmyquestions?”
“I never said you could,” she said lightly, but her tone didn’t hold any venom.
“But you will let me?”
“I will…think about it,” she replied, biting her lip.
“Frightened?” he murmured.
She leveled him a look. “No,” she bristled.
“Then you have nothing to worry about,luxiva. Nothing at all.”
Chapter Eighteen
The next morning felt…different. And not only because the landscape had begun to change.
Crystal was quiet. She had been since she’d woken that morning to the smell of cooking meat. Cruxan had apparently snagged another creature, just outside the mouth of the cave. Last night—or had it been early morning when she’d woken from her dream?—was still fresh in her mind and she didn’t know how she felt about…anything.
Because a lot had happened since they’d stepped foot in that cave yesterday. They’d actually talked, had conversations about serious topics. She’d learned about Cruxan’s losses, she’d told him about her own, they’d talked about what they wanted from their future. And then Cruxan’s whole ‘honesty’ game happened…the one where she begrudgingly admitted he hadn’t lied. Not once.
She was so used to untruths that she didn’t know how to handle someone who was so honest. And that was sad, wasn’t it? She didn’t trust him because sheexpectedhim to lie.
That’s no way to live my life, she couldn’t help but think. She didn’t want to constantly believe the worst in someone, not without that person giving her reason to.
So, Crystal was beginning to worry. She was feeling a fissure in the wall she’d built up around her. She was fighting it. Her old self was fighting against letting him in. She hadn’t let anyone in since Leo. She’d locked her fractured heart away and thrown away the key. Only, something told her that Cruxan would use a crowbar, not a key, to get inside, that he was determined enough to, especially after what he’d told her last night.
It will only be you, he’d said.
She couldn’t deny the fact that she’d felt something at those deep, husky words. Something frightening and intriguing and thrilling. She wanted to dive head first into those words, let them wash over her until she was pulled down, down, down to the very bottom by them.
What would it be like, being loved by him?
Truthfully, it felt exhausting, constantly fighting against it, against him. The lonely part of her that wanted to be brave just wanted to give in and explore him, but the other part of her, the logical, wounded part, would never allow that to happen.
That day, they were about a half day’s travel from the cave where they’d camped the night before. Crystal must’ve been lost in thought because she noticed that Cruxan had stopped and was looking at her expectantly.
“Sorry, what?” she asked, her cheeks flaming a little bit.
“I asked if you were hungry or need to take a break,” he said, watching her closely.
A little flutter went through her but she shook her head. Why did he have to be so damn thoughtful all the time? “No, I’m fine.”
“We are entering the west lands,” he told her. “Stay close,tev?”
She cut him a startled look. “Is it dangerous?”
“It is dense jungle,” he murmured. “It will get dark quickly inside.”
“Okay,” she murmured, looking past him. They’d left the white tree forest a long time ago and had slowly started to veer away from the mountain range. In the distance, she could see a solid wall of huge trees, though they looked more like gigantic plants with flat, curved leaves. It stretched for miles and miles and she didn’t know how far back the jungle went.
“Are you well,luxiva?” came his next question, standing close. So close that she had to crane her neck up to look at him. His nearness sent her heart racing but not in fear or panic.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“You have been quiet,” he commented. His lips quirked. He amended, “Quieter, at least.”
“I’m fine,” she assured him. She licked her lips, all too aware of his gaze. “Just thinking about some things.”
