She opened her mouth immediately but then seemed to catch herself. “It doesn’t matter.” A lie, he knew. That tapping on her knees increased. “Do you…do you still see females often?”
“Before I knew you?” he asked. “Tev.”
“When was the last time?” she asked quietly, not quite meeting his gaze.
“The morning Jaxor’an took you from the Golden City,” he answered, just as quietly. He’d been with Menira just that morning.
There was silence from across the fire before, “And how often…how often would you…”
She couldn’t even ask it, but he answered it regardless, despite the warning he felt going off in his mind.
“Almost every span,” he admitted.
“Oh my God,” she breathed, looking down at the cave floor by her feet. He didn’t know what that expression meant, but he figured it couldn’t be good.
Had he been a fool to suggest this little game?
It was possible his honesty would further alienate her, not bring her closer.
“Luxiva…” he murmured, trailing off. “I did not know you then. Everything is different now.”
“Is it though?” she questioned and her tone ate at him. “Just because your Instinct supposedly awakened?”
“It did,” he insisted. “Andtev, it is different. Because I want you.”
She made a small sound in the back of her throat, her irises connecting with his.
“Now…the thought of being with another female, it repels me,” he admitted.
“I don’t know if I can believe that.”
“I have been honest with you thus far,” he reminded her. “Do you believethat?”
Her lips pressed together but eventually, she gave him a slight nod. “I do.”
“Then believe this too,luxiva. I will want you and only you for the rest of my life span.”
“You know I’m leaving, Cruxan,” she said. “What happens to you when I do?”
His chest squeezed.
She didn’t understand. She might not ever, not until she accepted him, acceptedthem.
Because he didn’t know what else to say, he said, “It will only be you.”
Crystal looked uneasy with that knowledge.
Though his chest hurt as he said it, he assured her, “Do not fear, female. If you decide to leave after all, then you can. I am not a monster who will force you to stay. I only want you to be happy. If you decide your happiness lies back on Earth and not with me, not on Luxiria, then I will not stand in your way. This, I promise you.”
He felt those words deep in his gut, felt how the truth of them tore at him.
“I thought you said happiness was only an emotion,” she reminded him softly. “One that comes and goes.”
He smiled, but it felt grim on his features. “I did. I wish for the majority of your emotions to be happy ones then.” He cleared his throat when it felt tight. “Any other questions for the night, female?”
She looked at him, her expression thoughtful. But then she shook her head, though it was obvious to him she had more.
Cruxan was a little relieved truthfully.
