Easier said than done. I’d grown up in a village where sex was hidden, hardly discussed. I was relying on those same instincts to hide what I felt whenever Arokan touched me.
“You train together at night, do you not?” Mirari asked next.
“Yes,” I answered. “Why?”
“Fighting can be…exciting. Primal. TheVorakkarwould never hurt you though he pushes you hard. You can use that to your advantage. Think of your training sessions as foreplay.”
I laughed even though I wanted to hide. “There are so many of the horde watching.”
“So?” Mirari asked. “It is only you and him. Ignore the others.”
Lavi spoke, probably frustrated that Mirari wasn’t translating the conversation like she normally did. Mirari looked at me for permission and I nodded. Then I listened as Mirari told Lavi all my troubles with theVorakkarin Dakkari.
Lavi waved her hand in response, glancing at me. She said something that made Mirari chuckle.
“What did she say?” I asked, biting my lip.
“Lavi said that you should just suck his cock,” she laughed. “Thatwill tell him everything he needs to know and make him worship the ground you walk on. Like I said, males are simple like that.”
I was makinga mess of this ‘foreplay’ business.
Cursing Mirari for ever planting the idea, I gripped the small blade in my hand and arced out my arm the way Arokan taught me.
“You are pushing your hips too far back,” Arokan grumbled from behind me, watching my form.
I blew a strand of hair out of my eyes as his hands came to my hips, pushing them forward. The sweet ache of my muscles almost made me groan. I’d been constantly sore ever since our training sessions began earlier in the week. But I liked it. It meant my body was growing stronger, rebuilding itself.
“You are unfocused tonight,” he rasped. “Perhaps we should end early. I have been pushing you too hard.”
I was just about to protest, but then thought that retiring to the tent early might not be such a bad idea. Because I’d decided earlier that tonight was the night. I couldn’t take the sexual frustration anymore and I didn’t think Arokan could either.
Ever since Mirari had told me about his short-temper, I’d looked for signs of it. While he never raised his voice to me, he was definitely tense about something. His shoulders were bunched, his brows lowered into a dark expression, his fists clenching every so often.
My horde king was wound tight because of me.
“Yes,” I said, looking over my shoulder at him, dropping my arm. “Let’s end early.”
He nodded, stepping back. “I have a matter to attend to,” he said. “Go eat and rest. I might return late.”
I frowned, but he had already turned away.
“Vorakkar,” I called out before I realized it, catching sight of a small group that had formed to watch us practice.
He stopped, looked back.
I opened my mouth, but no words came out.
“Never mind,” I said, shaking my head. What was I going to say with a group watching? That I wanted him to come back with me so we could fuck each other senseless?
I was at that point though. I’d never particularly thought about sex, or needed it. Back at my village, I would masturbate whenever the need arose, but nothing more. Eventhathad been difficult to find time for, considering how filled my days had been with work.
Now, I felt like I would scream with the frustration of it.
Arokan turned back towards the front of the camp and I lost sight of him between the tents. I couldn’t help but wonder where he was going…and so late.
When I returned to thevoliki, I ate and bathed myself, but even the tub seemed too big without Arokan in it. I had grown so used to spending the nights with him that now it seemed strange, like the time was stretched. It was different. I didn’t think I liked it.
As I waited, my thoughts ran wild. Insecurity reared its ugly head and I couldn’t help but wonder, for the hundredth time, if Arokan was assuaging his lusts elsewhere.
