“It all makes sense now,” she said softly.
“What do you mean?”
“It is rumored that as of late theVorakkarhas been especially short with his warriors. Frustrated. Rarely does he show his temper, but I am told it’s been rather apparent lately.”
My brows rose, surprised. With me, Arokan didn’t seem any different, though there had been something in his gaze that confused me. A tightness.
But everything had been normal between us. We spent a good deal of time together, especially at night, so wouldn’t I notice if something was wrong?
“I don’t know what to do,” I confessed, looking into her eyes. Mirari and Lavi—though she only spoke a handful of words in the universal tongue now—had become my friends. I trusted them. And I trusted Mirari to tell me the truth. I knew she would, had never held back before, despite her being mypiki.
“Does he ever make his interest clear?” she asked softly, though she still seemed a little uncomfortable with the subject.
I furrowed my brow. “Sometimes I think so. He, um, touches me at night. I always think he will initiate something, but he always pulls away shortly afterwards.”
Mirari blinked. “Why doyounot initiate then?”
“What?”
Mirari shook her head. “Missiki, do you ever touch him too? Do you seem receptive to him? What do you do when he makes his interest clear?”
“I…” I trailed off. I looked down at my lap, at the golden marks across my wrists. They were fully healed now and beautiful. “I just…wait.”
Mirari sucked in a sharp inhale. “Missiki…”
“Is that bad?” I asked, looking up at her. “It’s bad, isn’t it? Ugh, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never had to think about this before.”
“Never?” she asked skeptically.
My cheeks flamed again. “No. I was inexperienced before theVorakkar.”
“Oh, I see,” Mirari said gently. “In that case,Missiki, you need to take initiative. Males need to know that you desire them as much as they desire you. If you do nothing when he touches you, he must think that you do not want his advances.”
“But…” I whispered, dread pooling in my stomach. “But I do.”
“Then it is not a problem,” Mirari said, smiling, relaxing at my admission. “Just communicate with your body that you wish for him to continue.”
“I don’t know how,” I confessed again.
The other times we’d had sex, had I touched him, been receptive to him?
The night he’d come to me after I refused to eat, I’d been still and unresponsive. He’d touched and kissed my body but it was only after my stomach growled did he stop. Or had it also been because I was simply lying there, scared and nervous? I remembered he’d kept looking up at me. Had that been to gauge whether I was enjoying it? Had he stopped because he thought Iwasn’t, not only because I was hungry?
Then the night of ourtassimara…I think Ihadbeen responsive. The fermented drink from the celebration had helped relax me. I’d enjoyed what we did, after the initial pain.
The second time we’d had sex, I’d been angry, but that anger had turned to passion, to need. I’d screamed into the furs so loud with the pleasure he’d wrung from me.
Was that what this was about? Arokan believed that I wasn’t receptive to him anymore?
I blew out a breath. I’d given him no indication that I was. I’d let him stroke my body, let him suckle and kiss my nipples without so much as a word or a sound or a touch of reciprocation. Of course, he would think that.
Damn.
I was a fool. An inexperienced fool who desired her horde king husband but didn’t know how to show him.
“How…” I trailed off, meeting Mirari’s eyes again. “How can I show him that I want him?”
“Many ways,” Mirari replied, seemingly over her initial embarrassment. “Males are easy. They do not need much. Just give into your instincts as a female. Do not hide your sounds or your movements. Let him see your enjoyment. Be open to him, like I told you before.”
