Besides, she’d made up her mind when it came to him and she intended to follow through with that commitment.
“If you would’ve asked me, I would’ve said yes, Kirov,” she told him quietly.
She felt his arms tighten around her middle and he turned her to face him, studying her features with a frown.
“I do not know if I believe you,” Kirov admitted.
That stung, but in time, Lainey hoped to earn his trust.
“It’s the truth,” she said, taking a deep breath, bringing her hands up slowly to place them on his chest. Ignoring the way he tensed, she felt his heartbeat pulse against her palms and said, “I wanted to apologize for how I treated you a couple nights ago. I got scared and I tried to push you away. It’s what I do. And it tore me up inside, knowing that I’d…that I’d hurt you.”
Kirov’s brow furrowed and his eyes flickered back and forth between her own, as if trying to figure out what her motives were. As if he was mistrustful of her words.
“Why this change so suddenly?” he asked, his tone low and deep. He cocked his head to the side, his long hair tickling the backs of her hands.
“I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking since that night,” Lainey said, swallowing past the lump in her throat. “Reflecting on how I treat others and why. I’ve been a coward and I’ve been mean and I try to cut other people before they have a chance to cut me.” It was hard saying these things to him out loud, but Lainey needed to. She just hoped that he believed her. “And…I—I want to bebetter. I want to not be so afraid anymore. I don’t want to hurt people anymore, especially you. I’m sorry, Kirov. I hope you can forgive me.”
Lainey didn’t realize that she was trembling. She’d never been good at confrontation, about admitting her wrongs. She was so bad at it that her body was literally rebelling against her.
Something in Kirov’s gaze softened and hope lit up her chest when he stroked one of his hands through her hair. He let out a deep exhale that softened his tight muscles and he grumbled, tilting his head down, “Kiss me, female.”
Hope.
Lainey’s breath hitched and she immediately leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, her eyes fluttering shut as he moved his mouth against hers.
His hands came to her waist and the blanket dropped from her shoulders when she slid her hands from his chest to wrap around his neck. Head spinning, she smiled and he licked her teeth with his tongue, asking for entrance, which she gave without hesitation.
When Kirov pulled away, she swayed a little on her feet, her eyes dazed, her lips stinging.
“Does…does this mean you forgive me?” she asked, breathless. “That you’ll give me another chance?”
“Tev,” he murmured. “With a condition.”
She frowned.
“You must forgive me too,” he rasped and she bit her lip, trying to hide her smile.
“On a condition,” she said.
“You are giving my condition a condition?” he clarified, his lips twitching, shaking his head.
“Yes, and it’s that you can never kidnap me again without my knowledge, that you have to ask about things like this. Okay?”
“Fair enough, female,” he murmured. Then his expression went a little serious as he asked, “What does this mean then?”
“Wasn’t the kiss obvious?” she asked, a little shy again. Shy about these kinds of things, in general, really.
“Say it, female,” he demanded and Lainey would never admit it, but she might really like when he was a little bossy. Just nottoobossy. When he was like that, she would just sass him until he stopped.
She bit her lip and said softly, “I’ve noticed you haven’t called meluxivayet.”
His expression tightened. “Nix, I have not.”
Lainey licked her lips and said, “I…I wish that you would again.”
Her little confession would tell him all he needed to know.
Kirov closed his eyes, a tremendous amount of tension releasing from his body at her words. Lainey hadn’t realized how much he’d been holding it in, how much he’d needed to hear her say it.
