Swallowing, he placed his hands on the balcony and squeezed so hard he was surprised the stone didn’t crumble underneath his grip.
“You would expect these things of me,” she observed, eyeing him with what he recognized aswariness.
“Tev, I would,” he said.
There was no use in denying it. As fated mates, they would bind their lives together, their minds. It was only natural. It was what the Fates demanded. His Instinct would only be at peace once theravraxia, the mating ceremony, was performed.
“You would expect me to give up my home, my planet for you,” she continued. “And frankly, at this point, I’m not ready to do that. I don’t know if I’ll ever be, Kirov. We’ve only known each other a few days. Can’t you see howcrazythis is?”
“What does time have to do with it?” he rasped, Lani’s words cutting him like a blade. “Time does not matter. It is what wefeelthat does.”
“I told you last night,” Lani whispered, “that I didn’t want you to think us fooling around meant more than it did.”
“Fooling around,” Kirov repeated slowly, another blow landing. The words were strange but he understood her meaning well enough. A spark of anger lit up his chest and he asked, “Was it that meaningless to you, female?”
“Not meaningless,” she said, looking at him with a frown. “I’m just trying to be honest with you, Kirov. You know I’m attracted to you. I liked what we did, I’m not denying that. I just don’t want to sign on to be your mate just because we got each other off one time.”
Stunned, hurt, Kirov said quietly, “Tev, you are making that quite clear to me.”
“Kirov…”
“Tell me the truth for once,” he said. “Do you believe you are my mate? Do you believe that you awakened my Instinct? Do you believe meat all?”
Lani’s gaze slid away but he reached out to turn her face to him, so that she couldn’t hide her truth.
Cupping her cheek, he demanded, “Tell me.”
“No,” she whispered. “I don’t.”
Kirov’s hand fell away and he clenched his jaw so hard he heard a crack.
He looked away from her. It hurt to look at her.
She whispered, “I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. I just—”
“You should go inside,” he said, his voice soft, but stern.
“Kirov…”
“Go.”
Lani blew out a small breath.
“Okay,” she whispered.
She waited another moment and then slowly turned and walked back to the dwelling. Kirov kept his eyes glued to thefacevrange in the distance, specifically where he’d taken Lani just the night before.
He heard the door shut behind her, until he was alone with his own thoughts. But they were such a jumbled mess in his head, he couldn’t think properly. He needed his work to calm his mind, to focus him.
But he couldn’t leave. He would just have to endure it, this consuming pain, this relentless doubt.
His fists clenched on the stone, his Instinct’s unease made him want to jump out of his skin.
Vrax!
Her words replayed in his mind, over and over again, on an endless loop, cutting deep. Deeper than he thought words could.
She didn’t believe in them. She didn’t believe in their bond.
