But Lani knew. She’d noticed him even before he’d stepped through the door.
Her eyes flickered over his body and Kirov found himself straightening at her blatant perusal of her male. Lainey’s tongue darted out to wet her lips, her eyes lingering in certain places, before she met his gaze.
A moment later, he scented the signs of her arousal and his jaw ticked in longing and frustration, knowing he could do nothing about it, not when he was acting as their guard for the night.
The sweetest misery, being this close to his female and not being able to touch her, to kiss her.
“Have you had your evening meal?” he asked them. The blonde, Crystal, looked up from the tablet, startled. When she saw it was him, her eyes narrowed slightly, before darting a quick look over at Lani.
“Yes,” Lani said and her voice floated over him, soothing the beast inside. “We ate with Kate.”
He stood by the door, hardly daring to draw near though his Instinct demanded he be close to his mate. He wouldn’t be able to stop touching her, if he started.
Crystal went back to her tablet, drawing something that resembled a landscape. An Earth landscape, perhaps?
Lani was watching him and her arousal was growing to be more than he could handle. He growled and turned, saying, “I will be stationed outside if you need me.”
His fists clenched tightly and he stormed through the front door again, closing it behind him. Once outside, he felt like he could breathe and some of the fog that swarmed his mind lifted.
He drew in a shuddering breath, feeling the cool air soothe his lungs, before he released it. His gaze went to the moon and his jaw tightened. Tomorrow would be his last full day in the Golden City. He would need to depart for Troxva before the suns rose in two spans.
And he was no closer to winning his female, to convincing her to depart with him.
Doubt had plagued him all span. She’d pulled away from him last night, the memory of which drove him out of his mind. She’d been so open, so receptive to him before and while they’d pleasured one another…but afterwards, she’d changed.
She’d closed herself off, bit by bit, making him question whether he’d done anything wrong, whether he’d displeased her in any way.
If Kirov was being honest, he didn’t know if shecouldbe won. He could court her and pleasure her for as many spans as it would take to capture her heart, but if she didn’t want to meet him halfway…
Kirov cursed softly, looking at the moon again, like it was a weapon about to detonate.
He didn’t have much time left.
Stop, he told himself, drawing in a deep, calming breath.
Nix, he wouldn’t doubt his female, he wouldn’t doubthimself. He would never give up.
Determination coursed through him, making him restless. He had made little progress on his work that span in the armory, so distracted with thoughts and memories of last night. How beautiful she’d looked, how she’d kissed him, how she’d tasted…the way she’d thrashed on his tongue as she orgasmed.
Kirov growled.
It wasn’t long before he heard movement inside the dwelling and a moment later, the door opened behind him. His female emerged, her blue eyes finding his. Carefully, she closed the door, leaving them alone.
“Crystal went to go take a bath,” Lani informed him, coming to stand just next to him, her shoulder brushing his arm. He reached out to touch her, but she moved quickly, stepping past, wrapping her arms around her body. She walked to the balcony and Kirov braced himself for another spar. He had never battled so much since warrior training, sincewarwith the Jetutians.
“What is wrong?” he asked. A thought occurred to him, making dread pool in his stomach. “Do you…regret last night?”
Lani looked down at the stone balcony, to the moonlit view, and then back to him. “No, I…I just…” she sighed. “I’m so confused. I don’t know what to think or how to feel.”
“Why do you do this to yourself?” he asked quietly. “Why not just accept it? It is easier.”
“Easier? Maybe for you. Not for me.”
Kirov’s brow furrowed.
“I talked to Kate today,” Lani confessed after a brief moment of silence. “She told me what it was first like with her and Vaxa’an. She told me about the Fates, about the mating ceremony, about a blood bond.”
Kirov tensed. So she did know about these things. He had hoped to explain these matters to her himself, to ease her into that overwhelming knowledge. She was already so skittish about their bond.
