She looked how I felt. Like she was in love with me, and every new discovery about me made her fall a little harder.
I smiled at her, and then I got to work feeding the three most important women in my life.
My day only got better when I went into work, called Deena and the HR team into my office, and announced that the two of us were in a relationship. “Do what you need to do with the paperwork,” I told our HR manager, who nodded as her gaze darted between us. Deena tried to glare at me, but I could see the small, pleased smile on her lips and the flush warming her cheeks.
When the meeting was done, Deena lingered after the Human Resources team left. “I guess my asking you to scrub my email from the company’s servers is a bit pointless now, huh,” she said.
I gave her my best, most wolfish smile. “I’m printing that email and framing it for my office wall.”
She clicked her tongue. “I guess everyone’s already seen it anyway,” she murmured. Her cheeks were flushed, and she let out a big, gusting sigh.
I came around my desk and took her in my arms. “What do you need?”
She blinked at me.
“To feel safe, Deena. Do you want me to tell everyone I’ll fire them if they so much as mention the word ‘crush’ in your presence?”
“Oh yeah, that’ll help,” she answered sarcastically, laughing. “No. I just…I don’t need anything. I’ll get over the mortification eventually.”
Tightness stole over my chest. I pressed a kiss to her forehead, wishing she’d let me carry her burdens for her. But this was Deena. I wouldn’t have fallen for her if she weren’t exactly as she was.
“I need to get to work,” she said, tilting her head up to accept my kiss.
“I’m taking you out to dinner tonight.”
Her eyes were soft, and her lips relaxed into a tender smile. “Can’t wait.”
This was it, I realized. This was the beginning of the rest of my life. For the first time since I was six years old, I found myself looking forward to the future.
TWENTY-SEVEN
DEENA
I foundout I was pregnant at the end of June. I’d spent the last six weeks either working, with Cal, or working with Cal. It was like a dream. The weather warmed up, and he took me out to dinners, to shows, even to a weekend getaway in Mexico. Every other waking moment was spent on my business or on his. Stability had shimmered in the distance like a mirage; my finances were looking better than ever, and I’d picked up a few new clients through my work at Cal’s firm.
Then I went to the doctor to get on birth control. It seemed like a good idea, because when Cal wasn’t being a romantic, he was an absolutely insatiable lover. My appetites, it turned out, were as voracious as his.
The pregnancy test was standard practice. I wasn’t surprised I had to do one. I was, however, surprised at the result.
“That can’t be right,” I said to the doctor. The plastic chair squeaked as I shifted in my seat. I shook my head for the thousandth time. “I’m not pregnant.”
“We’ll do a blood test to confirm,” she started, “but?—”
“I’m not pregnant,” I interrupted.
Her eyes were kind, if a little impatient. “Okay. Are you sexually active?”
“Well, yes, but?—”
She turned around and grabbed a plastic model of a uterus from the far side of her desk. “When a man ejaculates, his sperm travels up the vagina to the cervix?—”
“I know where babies come from,” I said through clenched teeth.
She nodded patiently. “Okay. So you understand that if you have unprotected sex, there is a chance of pregnancy?”
I felt like my head was going to explode. But I remembered the way Cal’s hands looked when he spread his seed over my stomach in my office. The look in his eyes when he saw me marked with his release. And earlier, back in March, when I’d made myself orgasm on that billiards table, fingers trailing through his orgasm, his own fingers thrusting inside me as I reached my peak. He’d pulled out then too, but we hadn’t exactly been careful in the aftermath.
My throat grew tight. “When will I get the results from the blood test?”
