But the one thing I want most is to finally to tell you how I feel about you.
I love you.
Everything about you.
I love your smile, the sound of your laugh, the way your eyes light up when I’ve done something nice for you. I love the way you smell, how dedicated you are to your craft, how supportive you are of me, how patient youare. I love that you’re the kind of friend who will always step up for the people you care about.
I love you with every ounce of my being, and when we’re finally together again, I will tell you exactly how much every single day for the rest of our lives.
Love,
Phillip
CHAPTER 56
TALLY
“How does it feel to be ninety-five percent done?” Mom asks as the server drops off our drinks.
“Amazing and a little scary.” I sip my Shirley Temple. I would love a margarita, but I still have my showcase, and our final dress rehearsal is this afternoon, so the celebratory drink will have to wait another twenty-four hours.
“Big changes are coming, huh?” She smiles empathetically.
“Yeah. I’m excited, but I’m nervous about the unknowns.”
“You’ve had a lot of those this year.” She pokes at the ice in her club soda with her straw.
“Our whole family has,” I agree. “But I see how this is better for you and Dad.” I don’t know if I’m ready for them to start dating other people, but it’s not my choice, either. I just want them to be happy, however that looks.
“How are you and Phillip?” Concern laces her tone.
“Still on a pause.” Their last away game is tonight. “But that will change when he’s home.”
“He’s serious about you.”
“I’m serious about him, too.”
“Serious enough to consider moving in with him?” she presses.
I blow out a breath. “I mean…eventually I think that’s a possibility.” Probability even. I summon my courage. “I’ve been thinking a lot about where I’ll live after graduation.” I have my apartment until the end of April. Even if Phillip and I were in the best possible place relationship-wise, we’ve only been dating for a handful of months. I don’t want to move too fast. I want sleepovers and time to enjoy dating without the pressure of cohabitating and learning each other’s quirks and habits.
“Do you want to live with your dad?” Mom asks.
“It’s not because I don’t want to live with you,” I say quickly. “I’m not angry or upset with you over the divorce. I feel like you and I are in a good place, and like our relationship is healthier now.”
“We needed a reset and university helped with that,” Mom says softly.
“We did, and it did. I like this a lot better, where you’re still my mom, but we can be friends, too.” A piece of me worries that if I moved back in with my mom and my sister, we would fall into old habits.
“I feel the same way, honey.”
“Dad and I need time to work on things. I know he’s not perfect, but he and I need the most healing, and living with him could help,” I explain.
She smiles, and it isn’t sad or disappointed, it’s full of pride. “I think that’s a good idea, sweetheart, and your dad will be ecstatic. Have you told him yet?”
“I wanted to talk to you first.”
She reaches across the table, and I slip my hand into hers. “You’ve had so much on your plate, and you’re over here worrying about how I’ll feel.”
