Everything is overwhelming.
You can’t be in a relationship with someone who flunked their final semester of university.
I hate being like this.
I just want us to be on the same page, and I don’t know if we are, and I feel like I’m barely treading water.
I want to be supportive but I’m such a mess.
I just need to get through exams and then my showcase.
I just need to take something off my plate. It’s too full.
Oh my God.
This isn’t what you need right now.
Just erase these.
My stomach knots and the feeling that everything good is slipping away grows.
Flip
What do you need from me?
Tally
I don’t know.
There’s a long pause in which the dots appear and disappear several times.Please don’t break up with me.
Tally
I’m really overwhelmed. I’m trying to keep it together.
I’m putting too much pressure on you. On us.
I feel like I need to hit pause.
“Fuck.” I drop my head and breathe through the ache in my chest. I should have told her how I feel about her before I left. But I didn’t want those words to be tainted with fear and uncertainty, and that’s where we’ve been sitting for a while now. I did this to us. To her. To me. I can’t lose her but telling her now won’t be helpful. I’d only be adding another weight to carry when her focus should be on exams and making it through the end of the semester.
The only thing I can give her is the space she’s asking for. I can take myself off her plate temporarily, even though the thought alone eviscerates me. I type the message with shaking fingers.
Flip
It’s okay if you need to hit pause on us.
Tally
I don’t want to loseyou, though.
Flip
I don’t want to lose you either. You are far too important, and you mean way too much for me to let you go without a fight. But forcing this won’t make anything easier. So if you need a pause to get through exams and your showcase, then I can give you that.
Tally
Just a pause, not a breakup?
