I nab him before he can escape. He yowls and writhes. My mom comes in and quickly shuts the door, but not before my cat scratches the hell out of my arm and launches himself off my chest.
And because I’m a hot mess, more tears fall.
Mom drops the bag and hugs me.
I can’t hug her back without bleeding on her, so I just rest my head on her shoulder and let her squeeze the sadness out of me.
Eventually she pulls back. “You’re really having a rough go, aren’t you?”
My arm is bleeding in several places. “Yeah.”
She ushers me down the hall. “Let’s get those disinfected since Parsnip steps in his own poop.”
“Good call.” I don’t need an infection to go with the rest of the shit heap I call my life at the moment.
Fee, Cammie and Enid pass us in the hall.
“Oh no! What happened?”
“Pars tried to escape.”
“Do you need us?”
“We’ve got it,” Mom assures them.
Fee chastises Parsnip as we disappear into my bedroom.
Mom’s gaze lands on my Madden body pillow, but she doesn’t say anything. I’m too sad to be embarrassed.
She closes the toilet seat and pats the top.
“I can disinfect these,” I say.
“I know, but let me be your mom, please.”
I take a seat and direct her to the first aid supplies.
“Do you want to talk to me about how you’re feeling?” she asks as she wets a washcloth with warm water.
“Sad. Confused. Scared.”
She nods. “It’s a big secret to keep.”
“He kept it from everyone except Dred.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I’m not jealous that she knew and I didn’t. His childhood best friend and his family didn’t even know. But if I’m his person and he’s mine, I need him to share all of himself with me, not just the good parts.”
“Did you tell him that?” she asks.
“Yeah. Last night we talked.”
“Did that go okay?” She dabs gently at the wounds. They’re just surface scratches.
“I think so. It’s just…a lot. There’s so much going on. My head is so messy,” I admit.
“You’ve had a lot thrown at you the past few months. And you haven’t had the luxury of a relationship without interference. They’re hard when you’re not in the spotlight, but they’re infinitely more difficult when everyone else believes they have an opinion that counts.” She wets a cotton pad with hydrogen peroxide and applies it to the scratches.
