“He was never home,” I argue.
“You’re right, he wasn’t. But I never told him I needed more from him. I said everything was fine, that I didn’t mind, that I knew how important his job was. I never told him I wasn’t happy. He believed we were okay because Itold him we were.”
My stomach bottoms out and everything tilts. “But why would you do that if you weren’t happy?”
“Because I thought things might change organically. Because when he was home, I didn’t want to start a fight. I don’t have a good reason, honey, but I don’t want you to keep blaming your dad when the fault wasn’t all his. He couldn’t fix what he didn’t know was broken.”
“I feel like a jerk.” I wrap my arms around myself.
“Don’t own this, Tallulah. Your dad and I made mistakes. Big ones. I just don’t want you to put all the blame on him, when he wasn’t alone in it. I played my part, too.”
I want to ask why my dad didn’t say anything. But I already know the answer. He didn’t want me to be mad at my mom, instead. He’d rather it be him. Reality is a sharp slap; no wonder they never worked out. How can you have a successful relationship when no one is willing to talk about the hard stuff?
“Everything okay in here?” Dad glances between us.
Mom adopts the placid smile I know so well. “Everything’s fine. How’s the corn?”
“Not charred, so we’re winning!” Fenna carries the plate of foil-wrapped cobs in and sets them on the counter.
Ties gives us a thumbs-up and focuses on his phone.
“I thought maybe you’d invite Flip to dinner,” Dad says.
“I would have loved to meet him,” Mom adds.
I glance between them. “This is the first time I’ve been here. I didn’t want it to be awkward for him.”
“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward,” Fenna says helpfully.
“Or it’s always awkward,” Ties mutters.
“Maybe next time,” Mom says.
And suddenly it’s wildly, painfully clear. She’s hurt. Of course she is. Dad works with my boyfriend, and my mom has never met him. Not as the guy I’m dating. At first, I just wantedthings to calm down and for the media to back off and stop dredging up his past.
“We can make a plan,” I hedge.
“That would be nice. I only know the interview side of him. I’d like to meethim.”
“You mean you’d like to grill him,” Ties says.
Fenna snickers.
I point an accusing finger at my sister. “Just wait. You’re up next.”
“Mom’s already met my boyfriend.”
“You have a boyfriend?” Dad and I say at the same time.
It sucks that we’re in the dark together. But I guess that’s how my mom feels about Flip, so I’m getting a taste of my own medicine, and I don’t like it.
“It’s new,” Mom defends Fenna.
“Like, twenty-four-hours new,” Ties adds.
“I was going to tell you in person,” Fenna assures me.
“Is he nice?”
