I squeeze his elbow to congratulate him on being polite.
He shoots me a glare.
“Do you two, um, know each other?” my mother inquires, warily.
“Yes,” I say, laughing. “I run into Knox on my evening rides, every so often. He’s so kind and neighborly, always tipping his hat and asking after the ranch.”
“Really?” my mother breathes, incredulous.
“Oh yes.”
“Well, isn’t that nice?”
“Isn’t it?” I give her a meaningful look. “Mom, isn’t there something you wanted to ask Knox?”
“Right.” She looks like she’s chewing burnt rubber. “Would you like to come over for supper this weekend?” Something occurs to her. “Billie’s birthday dinner, perhaps? On Sunday. Our darling girl will be nineteen.”
I hold my breath.
Knox is quiet for several seconds, his elbow hard in my grip. Flexed.
Until finally, “Sure. I’ll come by,” he says, stiffly.
My mother claps her hands. “Wonderful. We’ll see you then.”
He gives a stilted nod and walks away. Doesn’t look at me once as he checks out. And I start to wonder if I’ve made a mistake by backing Knox into a corner.
Is he angry with me?
I suppose I’ll find out tonight, won’t I?
nine
Knox
I grindmy planted fists into the table when I hear the soft knock on my door.
It’s her. It’s Billie.
Here to give me my daily fuck.
That’s what this arrangement was supposed to be. That’s what itwas.
Until she started dismantling me, brick by brick.
I’ve never had anyone introduce me to their parents before. I’ve never been a man that anyone claimed in the light of day. Why does this girl insist on looking at me like she believes in me? Why does she insist on demanding better of me? Who the fuck does she think I am?
Wasn’t she paying attention when I killed that man?
Wasn’t she listening when I agreed to bang her for the mortgage?
Did she not hear me when I told her I’d gone to prison? Broken a man’s neck?
My soul is pitch black. There is nothing redeemable about me.
I’m going to have to remind her. I’m going to have to show her, once and for all.
I shove off the table and stride to the door, throwing it open to reveal Billie…
