“No.” She ducked her head. “I’m hiding from him. I told him I didn’t feel good, so we’ve only been texting. I need to suck it up and let him know about the job offer.”
“You need to let him know you’re in love with him.”
“I can’t!”
Jax leaned close. “You have to. Not for him but for you. Otherwise, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering ‘what if.’”
“Are you going to be brave?”
Jax groaned. “It’s really better for me when I’m the one giving advice.”
“I’m sure that’s true, but you didn’t answer the question.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Jax! Come on. You’re tough. Tell Marcus you freaked and that you want to go out with him with the idea of seeing where things end up.”
“Or I can get another parrot.”
“Ramon would never forgive you.”
“I think I could live with the pain.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
The next day Ryleigh forced herself to send the simple, four-word text.
We have to talk.
Alex responded almost immediately saying he agreed. They set up a time for that evening. He said he would arrange for a sitter, which she appreciated. She didn’t need any witnesses to her humiliation when she told Alex she loved him and he said thanks but no thanks.
As the hour approached, she fought nausea and a burning need to make a sudden trip to Utah, but in the end, she was waiting when he knocked on her door.
She let him in.
“Hi. How are you—” She stared at him. “What happened?”
Normally Alex looked rested and fit, but today he seemed exhausted. There were dark circles under his eyes and a strange set to his shoulders.
“Are you sick?” she demanded.
“I haven’t been sleeping.” He walked into her apartment. “Did Cheryl tell you?”
Cheryl? “Tell me what?”
Instead of answering, he collapsed onto the sofa and began petting Lucy.
“She didn’t. I wondered. She said no one knew but her. I should have listened. Not that it matters now.”
Ryleigh moved to the chair opposite the sofa. “You’re scaring me. Alex, what are you talking about? Why haven’t you been sleeping? Is something wrong? Are you sick? Is Noah?” Dread formed a rock in her stomach.
“It’s not that. We’re fine.” He shifted and pulled a diary out of his back pocket. “Cheryl gave me this. It’s Kim’s.”
Ryleigh stared at the slim book. “I didn’t know she’d started a diary.”
“Me, neither. It was with the unclaimed ones and Cheryl thought I should have it.” He set it on the coffee table. “I’ve read it a thousand times.”
Ryleigh’s heart sank as she realized what his words meant. Reading Kim’s words would have brought back all the feelings he had around losing her. The love, the unfairness, the sadness, which meant he was even more lost to her than he had been. Given all that, he wouldn’t want to hear that she was in love with him. Not now. Not ever.
