“Oh, Jax, if you could see your face.”
“What?”
“You look trapped. Don’t blow this. Marcus is amazing. Don’t lose him because you’re scared.”
“You’re being very critical of me this morning. You need to stop that. I’ll cry and then you’ll feel bad. We’re in a good place right now.”
“You’re distracting me with all the words, but I’m not listening. Marcus is worth keeping.”
“I’m keeping him. We’re going to have sex next week.”
Ryleigh’s eyes widened. “That’s news.”
Jax felt herself flush. “Yes, well, it’s the next logical step. I’m excited but also nervous. It’s been a long time. I haven’t had sex with anyone other than Harris in like fifteen years.” She paused. “Wow, that’s so depressing.”
“I’ll want details,” her sister told her with a laugh.
“Always. Telling you everything is never going to change.”
Jax sat on a bench the edge of the pier and stared out at the ocean. While she was happy she and Ryleigh were once again on steady ground, she hadn’t liked what her sister had to say about her—especially the part about being stunted! She wasn’t.She was a whole, emotionally healthy person who had married the wrong man. Nothing more. She wasn’t afraid of love and she didn’t have control issues. Sure, she hadn’t exactly been looking to get involved with anyone. Until Marcus, dating had never crossed her mind, but was that a bad thing?
Or maybe she was phrasing the question wrong. Maybe the real issue was more about what she wanted now that she’d recognized she wasn’t so much the victim in her divorce as she’d first thought. Did she want to find someone she could care about? Was she willing to trust her heart to a man and if so, was that man Marcus?
“Jax?”
She turned in surprise as Shawna walked up to her.
“I went to the store and Cheryl told me you’d come out here for your lunch break. I h-hope I’m not interrupting.”
Jax held in a groan. The younger woman’s face was blotchy, her eyes were red. Her body language screamed that she’d been emotionally beaten and left on the side of the road—which meant one thing. Harris had come clean.
Jax shifted to make room for Shawna on the bench, then braced herself for a meltdown.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, thinking it would be best not to let Shawna know the breakup wasn’t news.
“I wanted to let you know you can have your room back,” Shawna said, her mouth trembling as she spoke. Tears filled her eyes and dripped down her cheeks.
“Oh, no. I’m sorry. What happened?”
Ack! Why had she asked that? She didn’t need to know details. Only, Shawna had shown up, so she obviously wanted to talk, and given that Jax had known what was coming, she probably deserved to listen.
“He doesn’t want to marry me.” Shawna covered her face with her hands, her body shaking with sobs. “He says he likes me a lot and thinks I’m great, but he’s not ready to be married to anyone.”
“I’m sorry,” Jax repeated, then found herself instinctively moving closer and putting her arm around the other woman. Shawna fell against her, crying harder now.
“He’s not in love with me. Not the way I thought. He said he’s not interested in having more children and even said something about getting a vasectomy.”
Which would be the smart decision, she thought. Not that Shawna would agree.
“Everything about this sucks,” Jax said. “I wish I could do something. You were so happy.” She paused, wondering if that was a dumb thing to say. She searched for something comforting and came up blank.
“He wanted to marryyou,” Shawna said, straightening. “You were the one, not me.”
“Oh, honey, no. That was years ago and we’re divorced. If it was so perfect, we’d still be together. I promise you, he’s not secretly mourning our marriage. We had so many problems and he’s the one who left. You’re a wonderful, caring woman who deserves the love of a good man.”
Shawna wiped her face. “I believed him. I believed all the things he said. I was making plans. I told everyone about the wedding. It was all I talked about.” The tears started falling again. “It’s so humiliating. I told my whole family and all my friends and practically everyone I ever knew that I was getting married and now I have to tell them it was all a joke and the joke’s on me.”
Jax hugged her again, feeling faintly sick to her stomach. “He was so wrong to do this to you. I wish I could make it better.”
