“You know that’s not true,” Alex said mildly. “She loves you and she’s one of your biggest fans.”
“Maybe, but she isn’t supporting me on this. It’s my life. I get to decide, not her.”
“It is your decision, but every choice you make has consequences. Jax wants the best for you, but right now she can’t see past how much she’s going to miss you. The two of you have always been tight. You’re best friends. After all these years, you’re changing the rules. Worse, you kept your interview from her, so not only is she worried about losing you, now she’s afraid she can’t trust you.”
Ryleigh spun to face him. “That’s not fair! You’re supposed to take my side.”
“Not when you’re wrong.”
He spoke mildly, but she still felt the ouch all the way to her toes. “I’m not the bad guy.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I get to move if I want,” she mumbled.
“Yes, you do, but we’re all going to miss you.”
She was going to miss them as well. She couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing Jax whenever she wanted, of not being around as Gentry, Xander and Noah grew and changed, and Alex. She had a bad feeling he would be the hardest to leave.
She looked at him, wondering what he was thinking. Did he have any feelings for her beyond friendship? She knew he enjoyed the sex—he couldn’t possibly be faking his enthusiasm. Plus he’d been the one to suggest they have sex in the first place. No, the sex wasn’t the issue, but what becoming his lover had revealed about her own heart.
“This is hard,” she said, sinking into the visitor chair. “I don’t like it.”
“You have to do what’s right for you.”
She glared at him. “You don’t want to beg me to stay?”
“I won’t do that, Ryleigh. I won’t get between you and what makes you happy.”
“But what if I don’t know the right answer?”
“I can’t help you with that.”
He could, she thought. He could tell her he was crazy about her. That would make her decision-making a whole lot easier. But he obviously wasn’t going to, and so it was all on her.
Jax waited until Ryleigh was a couple of hours into her shift at the bookstore then sought out her sister, who was busy shelving the latest cozy mystery releases. She stood in the aisle until her sister looked at her. For a second, neither of them spoke.
“I don’t want to fight,” Jax said at last. “I’m sorry I wasn’t supportive, but this is hard for me. I don’t want to lose you.”
Ryleigh hugged her. “I don’t want to be lost. I’m not dying, I’m just thinking about moving to San Diego. And you were right to be mad at me. I should have told you about the interview.”
“That hurt me,” she said as she stepped back.
“I know. I’m sorry. I was scared and nervous and I knew you’d be upset and want to take control of the situation. I couldn’t deal.”
Jax got that. “You’re right. But you’re going through some stuff and you need to have me to talk to.”
“I do and I’ve missed leaning on you and having you help me make the hard decisions.” She sighed. “I don’t want to go but I’m afraid I won’t ever be fully happy here. Not without a family of my own.”
“You can’t have that with Alex?”
Ryleigh sighed. “I could if he felt the same way but he doesn’t.” She leaned against the shelves. “He’s still in love with Kim.”
“You don’t know that. Grief is complicated. He can still love what he had and be open to a new relationship.”
“Not according to what he’s said to me. What if she’s his one and only? Maybe he doesn’t want to love again. Some people don’t. Look at you.”
“Why would you say that? I want love in my life.”
