After rubbing the coconut oil into her feet, Haji lifted Zoe and carried her to Zina’s bed. She woke up as he pulled the covers up, and grabbed Zina’s pillow. Holding it tightly, she inhaled Zina’s scent deeply and buried her face in the pillow.
“I’ll check on you after the sun goes down. Do you need anything?”
Releasing a heavy breath, Zoe shook her head as she looked up at him. “Nothing you or anyone else can give me.”
Zina.
Yeah.
Haji needed her too.
“I’m right next door if you need me. On the right.”
She didn’t say anything, only held him captive with those eyes. Haji turned to leave, stopping only when she said, “I see why she cherished you. You’ve shown me so much kindness and you don’t even know me.”
But he did know her.
Because he knew Zina.
And now . . . Zoe was the closest thing he had to her.
PROLOGUE
Zoe
Zoe stared at the enlarged picture of her sister. Her parents flew in from Memphis immediately after she called and told them that Zina was gone. They’d handled all the funeral preparations as normal parents did, which Zoe was grateful for. It didn’t matter how much they tried to be there for her, Zoe found it difficult to let them in. Not only had their relationship begun to shift when she left for college, but they knew about Zina’s sickness and promised not to tell Zoe. It didn’t matter how many times they said Zina wanted to protect her. She didn’t care about protection. Zoe cared about missing the last year of her sister’s life.
Zina and Zoe were as close as two sisters could be. Their parents were great parents, present parents, with one flaw. Once their children aged out of the home, they chose to live for themselves. They sold their home in Memphis, moved into a smaller apartment, and took trips every month, leaving their daughters to fend for themselves. Though they helped Zina and Zoe financially and spent the holidays with them, that was theextent of their parental duties once the sisters had their twenty-second birthdays. That was why Zoe had taken her sister’s death twice as hard. She wasn’t as close as she used to be to her parents, and now, her sister was gone.
The only person she felt slightly comfortable sharing her grief with was Haji, but he had his own. Plus, he was married, and as cool as Lianne seemed, Zoe couldn’t pull herself to call on another woman’s man regardless of the situation. So she’d been stuffing her grief inside, praying she wouldn’t explode.
When her mother sat next to Zoe, she had to keep from rolling her eyes. Releasing a low huff, Zoe looked toward the buffet of food that was almost gone.
“She left you the coffee shop,” Myra said, covering Zoe’s hand with hers. “Grounds 4 Love is officially yours.”
“I don’t want it,” Zoe grumbled with a pout, removing her hand from under her mother’s. “I want my sister.”
“I know, baby, but she’s gone. And there’s nothing we can do about that.”
Scoffing, Zoe shook her head. “Yeah, well, someone else will have to run the coffee shop. Why would I want to spend my days working in a place that will remind me of her?”
“Maybe that’s why she left it to you, hon. Remembering her is how you can keep her memory alive. It’ll help you feel closer to her.”
“I would’ve been closer to her if she would’ve told me the truth,” Zoe said as she stood. “If any of you would’ve told me the fucking truth. My sister was dying, and you kept that from me!”
The increased volume in her words had everyone in the room looking in their direction. While Myra visibly shrank in embarrassment, Zoe’s anger continued to rise.
“Hey,” Haji said quietly, palming her arm. “Let’s get out of here.”
Wiping her face, Zoe sniffled as she blindly followed Haji out of her sister’s apartment. Because for some reason, it was her parents’ bright idea to have the repast there. As if Zoe wasn’t suffocating from the memory of her sister enough. The closer she got to the picture by the door, the harder it was for her to see or to breathe. Once they made it outside, Haji pressed her against the door.
He lifted her arms above her head and directed her to, “Breathe, Zoe. I know it seems impossible, but breathe.” Her eyes snapped shut as her tears continued to pour. His hand went to the center of her chest, and the solidness of it grounded her. “Open your mouth and breathe.”
“I-I can’t,” she choked out, breathing even harder and quicker breaths.
“Yes, you can, Precious. Open your eyes and look at me.”
A whimper escaped her before her eyes fluttered open and focused on Haji. “Good girl.” When he blew in her face, she jerked and opened her mouth. “Focus on my breath.” Zoe nodded as he blew in her face again. By the fifth time, she was able to imitate his breathing, and eventually, hers leveled out. Haji removed his hand from her chest and watched her for a few seconds, to make sure she was okay, before asking, “You good to go back inside, or do you want to go in my place? I assure you Lianne won’t mind.”
