Not in front of a rival.
But here?—
I take his face in my hands, cold skin under gloved fingers.
“I have never,” I say, voice breaking despite my best effort to steady it, “been more scared in my life.”
The confession feels violent in its honesty.
He stares at me like he doesn’t know what to do with that.
“You could’ve died out here,” I whisper.
“So could you,” he replies weakly.
I pull him into me. His body shakes against me violently.
I wrap my arms around him and drag him against my chest, trying to transfer heat through layers of fabric and stubborn pride.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur into his hair. “I’m so sorry.”
“You locked me up. You let me think you didn’t trust me. You—” He stops, swallows, breathing hard.
“I should have come to you, trusted you. I didn’t, and I see that now. Hartford—my own advisor—took advantage of that weakness. He lied to me, led me down a path I almost… I almost became my father. Elias, I swear, I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to make you feel like you were… just an object, just a prize.”
His chest rises and falls rapidly. “You think an apology fixes this?”
“I don’t know if it can,” I admit. “But I need you to know the truth. The real truth. I’ve made mistakes, yes, but I am not him. I am not my father in this. Not when it comes to you. Not now.”
He glares, green eyes shimmering with snow, frustration, and something I can’t quite name. “You’re the man who nearly ruined my life. And yet…” His words falter.
The cabin is silent except for the storm outside. I swallow hard. The raw vulnerability in his voice is a knife through the armor I’ve worn my whole life.
“I care, Elias,” I whisper. “I care more than I know how to express. I was a fool to let jealousy rule me. You—” I grip him hard against my chest. “You mean everything to me. Jesus, I love you so much.”
Elias’s shivering pauses for a moment at my words. “Everything, huh?”
“Yes. Everything.” My voice is firm, though my chest feels exposed. “I cannot promise I will never make mistakes, but I can promise I will never let anyone hurt you like Hartford tried to. I… I want your trust, Elias. Please, allow me to earn it back.”
He’s quiet for a long, agonizing moment. Snow drifts through a broken board in the roof, landing in his hair. I see him shiver, not entirely from the cold.
“Lucian…” His voice softens, barely above a whisper. “You almost broke me.”
“I know,” I say, into his hair. “And I am sorry. I will spend every second making sure I don’t let it happen again.”
His gaze drops, then flickers back up at me. The tension between us is thick, almost tangible. “You realize it’s going to take more than words?”
“I do.” My hand hovers over his shoulder, not touching, giving him space to decide. “And I will do whatever it takes. I only ask… Please, don’t walk away from me yet. Let me fix this.”
He studies me in silence. For the first time in hours, maybe days, he doesn’t flinch. His lips press together, a small sign of restraint, of thought, of considering.
I take a deep breath, letting the cold air fill my lungs. “Elias, you are not a pawn. You are not a thing. You are not under my control. I was a fool to ever think of you as anything but your own man. But I… cannot bear to lose you. Please, allow me the chance to prove it. That’s all I ask. One chance.”
He doesn’t answer immediately. Just watches me. The storm outside howls like it’s testing us, forcing us to see how far we’ve fallen and how far we can still climb.
Finally, he exhales. The tension in his body doesn’t fully release, but it’s something. A crack. A glimmer. Enough for me to know that this conversation isn’t over, but it is a start.
And that is enough for now.
