Swallowing, I come to my knees and press my body against his. “That was amazing. The best sex of my life. I just can’t help but wonder what it might feel like to have you inside me without barriers—with nothing between us. Just skin. You and I.”
Aidan’s neck works. “When you put it like that,” he says, chuckling. Aidan explains how he gets tested at work monthly for STDs or any sort of health ailments, really, and then I tell him how I have a nifty IUD that prevents pregnancy. He seems intrigued, almost as if I’m an alien when I tell him how it works. “You mean there’s fishing wire in there, and I didn’t feel it?”
I nod. “And it stays in place for fifteen years. I had it put in years ago and didn’t bother having it taken out after the divorce. It seemed easier to leave it there.”
“You’ve given me something to think about.”
“I can’t believe you’ve never considered it in the past. You’ve been in relationships.”
He clears his throat, pressing a kiss to the side of my head. “They weren’t the trustworthy kind.”
“I am?” I ask, grinning. I can feel his erection rising again.
Aidan shifts so it’s between my legs, the warmth pressing at my core but not entering. His breath hitches. “You are, I think. Even if I rarely trust anyone.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because you trusted me with your truths,” he replies, pulling away to look me in the eye. “You feel better now, don’t you?”
My stomach flips as I look into his eyes. “I don’t even remember where it hurts anymore.”
Aidan smiles. “We’ll have to repeat your pain management treatments daily.”
Licking my lips, I say, “Thank you. I don’t think you realize how much tonight has meant to me.”
Eyes narrowed, he studies me, like he’s trying to fish a lie. A rash of unwarranted self-conscious nerves winds around me. “You’re the one taking a chance on a bad boy,” Aidan says, cocking his head to the side and cupping my face in his big hands. Hazel eyes dip down, and a haunting glow replaces the sweet one. “You hold all the risk.”
“I also hold all of the reward then,” I reply, pressing my lips together.
“Fuck, Magnolia,” Aidan hisses before pulling my mouth to his. “I want all of you.”
There has never been anything easier than living, and feeling in this moment.
Nothing.
SEVEN
Aidan
“You can’t fuckingtalk like that when she gets here, bro,” I rasp at my friend after he used several four-letter words to describe his most recent hookup. He’s tending the grill, flipping burgers with the precision of a surgeon. “She’ll be here in ten minutes, and I’m about to shit my pants.”
I have never, not once, been in the scenario where I’m introducing a woman to my friends, the SEALs who I share everything with. It’s scary and disconcerting, and it feels like I’m turning a corner at a million miles per hour when I wasn’t planning on taking that turn. It can’t be bad. This has to be moving forward, the progression of two people who get along and want to spend time together. The reason I didn’t introduce the women from my past to my brothers is because I didn’t trust the chicks enough not to jump into bed with my teammates.
Maybe it’s a case of low self-esteem, maybe it’s the product of selecting horrible women to spend my time with. All I know right now is that Magnolia is different. She won’t want to fuck my friends, but my friends might fuck me by saying somethingstupid. I want to protect Magnolia. From her past. From brutal words that can be avoided. I want to protect her from everything I can. She’s been through so much.
“Don’t shit your pants. I won’t say anything,” Mercer drawls, his southern accent strong. Mercer is a good ole boy through and through. As testament, he is wearing a pair of worn-in cowboy boots with black board shorts. The entirety of his massive upper body is covered in dark blue ink. My name is in there somewhere, as are a few other teammates who were on a particular mission where he almost lost his life. Narrowing my eyes, I locate my name, right next to a big fat zit on a pinup girl’s forehead. Sighing, I shake my head. Mercer.
He waves the spatula in his hand like it’s a fairy wand or some shit and spits into a brown-tinged Pepsi bottle. “You’re so magical now. A girlfriend. That’s some unbelievable shit. I can’t take your word for it. I need to hear it from her mouth. You understand my reasons.”
I grunt in response and restack the bags of buns on top of the plates.
Every once in a while, we’ll grill out at the beach on our base. The group gets a little smaller with each passing month. When my brothers get girlfriends, they have better things to do than shoot the shit at work in their free time. Tahoe and Leif, my two best friends, are home with their women. I’m trying to prove that even if I add a woman to my life, I can still hang. Nothing will change. I won’t let it.
When Mercer starts dancing, gyrating his pelvis in my direction while singing a made-up song about my dick and manhood, I wave him off.
I grab two beers from the large stainless-steel cooler and walk down to the hard-packed beach sand. Tahoe built a few picnic tables that we drag out of a storage shed for occasions such as this. I sit at the one that’s empty and contemplateevery single decision that led to this night. It’s odd—a shock to everyone who knows me.
Colton, a SEAL who was recently transferred to Bronze Bay from Harbour Point, our base in Cape Cod, collapses onto the table in front of me. “I’m feeling so emo these days. It’s the heat. I’m never going to get used to it. Thank God we don’t actually work here.”
