I don’t understand at first, that is, until he says, “What’re brothers for?”
Brothers…
Is it possible for a heart to break but still beat?
15
“Friend, huh?”
I don’t need to take this shit from her. She has to know that. I’m paying for her services—or technically, my job benefits are. Still, it’s the same thing.
“How does this help me?” I ask, tucking my hands into my cargo pants.
“Oh, comeon, before we get started. It was very deliberate.”
I groan, the sound loud in the quiet forest around us.
Britt and I are walking north of Wildhart, heading toward Starlight, like we normally do on Thursdays. Therapy like this helps. I know I need these sessions, because every week the hollowness in me feels smaller and smaller.
Though, I could argue it’s Ayden doing that for me.
It’s been a week since that night at the bar, seeing his breakdown. Clover had been scratching at the door the second I closed it behind me. Her reaction wasn’t unfamiliar; she had been my mom’s therapy pet.
Cats aren’t usually considered sensory animals, but Clover’sprevious owner suffered seizures, and she could sense them before they happened. When that owner passed, Clover was nearly sent to the humane society for euthanization, until my stepdad got the call. She ended up being the perfect gift for my mom, who struggled with dangerously low blood pressure. It seems fate was on both of their sides, because the cat could sense that too.
So when Clover scratched and yowled at the door, I knew something was wrong.
I don’t know what triggered his attack, but if I had to guess, it was me. The urge to go to him was almost unbearable, but I feared I would only make it worse. Clover was able to get him settled, and I took my ass into the bathroom to get cleaned up.
Blowing up on him as I did, acting like that, I wanted to blame the alcohol but that would be ignorant of me. It wasn’t just that. It was everything that’s built up since losing my mom. No matter what I do, it never seems to end.
The last thing I want is to hurt Ayden, even if I’m still so angry with him.
“Earth to Keoniiii.”
“Legally,Britt, he no longer is my stepbrother. I hadn’t lied. He is a friend.”
“Uh… huh…” I watch as she tucks her hands into her sweater pocket and gives me a sheepish grin. “I’ve known you for several years, and I was watching you all night back at the bar. Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not lying to you. That would be stupid considering you have some weird superpower to tell when people are being untruthful.”
Her grin turns toothy. “Exactly, and you’re lying.”
“He’s a friend. One I’m still very upset with.”
“Okay, okay, let’s segue.” She steps back, hurries ahead a few paces, then turns to face me. “Do you think the animosity you feel toward him has amplified your inability to talk about what happened? You said in our last session his fake smiling was pissing you off, and said he won’t tell you about anything, and that?—”
“I thought we were moving on from the Ayden topic.”
She shrugs her shoulders. “I’m certain there is some sort ofconnection here. Not between you two, since, you know… you’re so adamant about there not being anything going on...”
We cut a little to the right to get on the road. I don’t say anything, which has her aggressively groaning.
“Fine. Where did we leave off last week?”
“The transfer.”
“Right, so, you were excited about it? To come move to Maple Falls.”
