Seated on the couch, I watch Ronan disappear toward the kitchen. Cal sits beside me, taking my hand and rubbing a gentle circle into my palm.
“Why… are you here?” I ask. “How?”
“Britt texted me. What’s going on? Where’s Keo? Is he at work?”
I bite down on my bottom lip and shake my head.
“Okay. Let’s just talk about something else?—”
“I don’t want to talk about anything else… sorry. Thank you, but… shit.” I run my fingers through my hair. “Do you mind grabbing my phone?”
She nods and gets up from the couch just as Ronan returns. He hands me a glass of ice-cold water, and I take a slow sip.
“Don’t cut her off again.”
I lift my gaze, preparing to apologize again, when Cal interrupts.
“Ronan, it’s fine. You know how I get after these.”
He rolls his eyes and grunts. “Regardless.”
“No harm done,” she says softly, handing me my phone.
I’m swapping out the drink for it. I look and see no new messages or calls. It doesn’t stop me from pulling up his number and calling.
Only for it to go directly to voicemail.
I do it again.
Voicemail.
Again.
Voicemail.
The moment I’m about to try again, Cal’s hand covers the phone, and I look up at her. “Tell me what happened. We aren’t going anywhere.”
“What?”
She shoots her head up to Ronan. “We’re staying…”
He grunts. “Haven’t we done enough?”
When she looks back at me, she smiles. “Ignore him. Let’s talk, Ayden. What’s going on?”
49
Iam a colossal idiot.
Whydo I have to feel like this?
The farther I drove from Ayden, the heavier my chest became, the hollower my heart felt. I had to pull over—if I hadn’t, I probably would’ve careened off the road. Even if Britt thinks that’s where I was heading,death,it wasn’t.
The floor had just collapsed beneath me, and there was no catching myself. I lost it in those few moments. I tried so hard to hold on, but I was sinking too fast.
I just need to breathe. And for a place filled with open skies and fresh greenery, I feel suffocated. The air is polluted, and it’s like everything is against me.
For what I did.
