Ryder felt like he’d been punched in the gut. This was his fault. He’d not only hurt the first person he’d loved in over a decade, but he’d driven him into hiding by being a selfish ass.
“You can go now, Sam,” said Sebastian. “Remember what we agreed?”
“What?” asked Ryder. “You’re not making deals with him, are you?”
“I’ll go,” said Sam.
“One second,” said Ryder. “How did someone with a camera know to be there at that exact moment, Sam?”
The flush on his face gave him away in an instant. Ryder lunged for him again, but Sebastian and Deacon held him back.
“Get the fuck out, Sam,” snapped Sebastian. “The deal’s off.”
“What? You can’t do that! I only came here because you said you’d help me out with a job. What the fuck am I supposed to do?”
“Get out, Sam. Now, or we’ll set him loose on you.”
Sam’s eyes widened. Ryder had never been violent, unless he was defending himself. He could be if he needed to be, but if he got his hands on Sam, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop punching him.
Max gripped Sam by the arm and frogmarched him out of the apartment. The door clicked shut, but Max didn’t come back.
“He’ll be escorting him out of the building,” said Sebastian, letting Ryder go.
A million different emotions hit him at once. All he could think about was his beautiful Felix and the pain he’d caused him. It was impossible to hold back the sob as he realized he’d probably lost him forever. There was no way Felix would ever take him back now, and who could blame him after what Ryder had done?
Sebastian pulled him into a hug. He couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. He cried for the pain he’d caused because of his own insecurities, and the future he’d lost with the most wonderful man he’d ever met. There had to be a way he could fix this. He was Ryder Quinn, and he’d never backed down from a challenge in his whole life.
CHAPTER 16
FELIX
Felix groaned at the daylight streaming through the thin curtains. It was December. Why was there sunlight? The sun needed to fuck off. He needed dark and stormy weather to reflect his mood.
The last week had been one of the worst of his life. Nothing would top the week his family had disowned him, but this was up there. And in all this, he was still in love with Ryder Quinn. The stupid bastard. How could he believe Felix would hurt him like that?
Once the picture of Sam kissing him went viral, Felix stopped looking at anything on the internet, which felt oddly freeing. His social media accounts were all still blocked, and he hadn’t bothered to get them reactivated. Every job had been canceled, and there were no bookings coming in. His website was down, and he couldn’t get it working again. There had been some malicious attack on it, but his provider didn’t know how it had been done. His entire life had imploded and all he wanted to know was that Ryder was okay, but he’d blocked Felix’s number and deactivated all his social media accounts.
Felix was staying with his friend Annie, who lived inConnecticut. They’d met in college. She’d been his sensible friend whereas Laura had been a party animal, and she’d still managed to get a 4.0 in her degree. How she’d done that was a mystery. Felix had needed to study hard to get his 3.3, but he was happy with that. Annie had been his study buddy. She was now married with a young son, but she hadn’t hesitated to offer a haven when he’d called her. Annie was one of those friends who you wouldn’t see all the time, but was there for you in a heartbeat when you needed her, and Felix knew he’d do the same for her if the situation were reversed. Thankfully, Annie’s husband Paul was an amazing guy and didn’t have any issue with the intrusion. They had a granny flat in their garden for when Paul’s parents would stay in the summer. It was close to Christmas, but they were sunning themselves in Florida, so the place was Felix’s for as long as he needed it.
Felix had kept a low profile. Some of the more rabid Ryder fans had found out where he lived and camped outside his apartment building. They’d held a vigil for Ryder, assuming something bad had happened. Laura was staying with the woman she’d started dating, which seemed sudden, but then he’d fallen in love with Ryder in a couple of weeks, so who was he to talk?
“You need to see this,” said Annie, walking in.
She was all of five foot nothing, and was the same age as Felix but now had a mom vibe about her.
“What is it?”
“Ryder just reactivated his social media and posted a video.” She held up a tablet.
“I don’t want to see that.”
“You have to. It’s about you.”
His heart started beating really fast. What had Ryder done? Could things get any worse?
“Relax. It’s a good thing.”
He took the tablet off her and looked at the screen. The video was paused at the start. Felix hesitated, but curiositywon out and he hit play. Ryder came on the screen. He was sitting on a chair in his apartment—Felix recognized the background. How could he look so handsome? Felix looked like death. He’d been showering, because that was polite when you were staying in someone else’s home, but that was as far as he went with his appearance.
