“Stay off social media.”
“My accounts are locked, remember?”
“That’s good. Don’t do anything until we talk.”
A bolt of realization hit him. Ryder had said they needed to talk once they’d woken up from their nap, but he’d been convinced it was going to be a goodbye speech, so he’d seduced Ryder into fucking him again. He’d gone harder that time, and Felix knew he’d be feeling it for days, but he’d thought it would be worth it if it was to be their last time. Now he suspected he’d wanted to talk about something on social media. He’d been called into his agent’s office, and now Felix had taken a hit to his business. He had to have known.
“Ryder, did you know about this?”
“What?”
“That all my jobs had been canceled.”
“No, I didn’t know that. Baby, let me send you a car and you can come here. We can talk then.”
“Did you know that this had affected my business?”
Ryder didn’t answer, but Felix could hear him breathing. The silence told him all he needed to hear. Felix thought he was going to burst into tears. He didn’t blame Ryder for whathad happened, but he’d known about it and not told him. Felix could have been saved from that humiliating moment with Lindsay earlier if he’d said something. Without thinking, he ended the call and pulled up Laura’s contact info. Right now he needed a friend, and she was all he had left.
Felix left the bar feeling unsteady. Laura had left him an hour ago, insisting he go home. She’d met him for a drink so he could vent about the shitshow that was his life. His business was fucked. His reputation was fucked. His life was fucked. He’d wanted to speak to Ryder, but she’d advised him against that given he might say something he regretted. Because of Ryder’s stupid fans, people hated Felix and he was suffering the consequences. Would he even be able to recover his business from this?
Laura had a date with some girl at the coffee shop near her work, so she’d been drinking soft drinks and he’d been on the vodka. Once she left, he’d ordered another three drinks, possibly more; he’d lost count. When he’d received a text from Laura checking if he was at home, he realized he needed to get going. He didn’t want her worrying about him and cutting her date short. She’d been pining over the coffee shop girl for months. He wasn’t ruining that for her.
Everything was spinning, and he couldn’t walk very fast. Stepping outside into the cold was like being hit in the face with a shovel. The last thing he wanted was to throw up. That would just top off this shitty day. Why had he decided getting drunk was a good idea? He couldn’t really afford to be drinking now, and he must have blown a couple of hundred dollars tonight. What was he thinking? He’d ignored all his customers’ demands for their money back. That was tomorrow’s problem. He’d rather not think about it.
He felt awful, and thought about getting an Uber, but he’d already spent too much money tonight, so he headed for thesubway. He almost fell down the stairs, and then couldn’t find his ticket, but after swearing half a dozen times, he realized he hadn’t bought one. That had caused him to erupt into spontaneous laughter, which got him a few looks. He didn’t give a fuck what people thought of him. Well, at this moment he didn’t. Normally, he gave other people’s opinions far too much importance. He sat down on a train, and his head swam as it chugged along. The rocking motion was not helping to keep his stomach settled. He just kept telling himself not to throw up. Once he got home, he could down some Advil and sleep it off.
By the time the subway reached his stop, he was standing up. He’d almost fallen asleep twice and didn’t want to risk missing the right station. Stumbling up the stairs, he still had a ten-minute walk to get back to his apartment, and the air was biting cold. They’d forecast the possibility of snow, which was the last thing he needed. Once he turned onto his block, a wave of relief came over him. He was having a shower when he got in as well—that would sort him right out. There must have been something about being close to home, because his legs felt heavier and it was like he had to drag them along. As he approached his apartment building, he saw someone familiar waiting outside. Thinking he was hallucinating, he shook his head. No, he wasn’t imagining things. What the fuck was he doing here?
“What do you want, Sam?”
“Felix,” he said, rushing over. “Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick.”
Sam tried to hug him, but Felix moved out of the way. This made him lose his footing, and he almost went down. Sam grabbed him before he hit the deck.
“Thanks,” he said begrudgingly. He might not like Sam, but he had stopped Felix from falling over. “What do you want, Sam?”
“I wanted to see you. I miss you.”
“Are you for real? We’ve had this conversation.”
He tried to walk past, but Sam blocked his path.
“Don’t be like that. I’m worried about you. Why did you block my number?”
“You know why, Sam. And I’m fine. Nothing for you to be concerned about.”
“You don’t look fine. Why are you drunk?”
“None of your business.”
“Is this Ryder’s doing?”
“Again, still none of your business.”
“You can’t trust people like that, Felix. They’re only out for themselves. I see his follower count has gone up, but your social media has disappeared. What kind of man does that to someone? He should use his influence to help you.”
“Ryder’s ten times . . . No, he’s a hundred times the man you’ll ever be.”
