His head was spinning. Was she the only one who hadtaken that approach? He restored all his emails and searched through them. Anything that had the words “die,” “bitch,” or a homophobic slur in the subject line were immediately deleted without being opened. He made sure the deletion on those was permanent. Ryder had warned him about trolls, and said he’d probably always get homophobic comments. It was something he’d have to ignore. Engaging with them played into what they wanted.
Over the next hour, he went through everything that had come into his work email, and there had to be over a hundred messages. Some were from crazy fans of Ryder’s, saying Felix had ruined their life by stealing their man. Those emails were also permanently deleted. Once he’d removed all the hate and junk, he learned that six of his jobs, including Lindsay’s, had canceled. That was ten grand’s worth of income he’d lost, as they were all asking for their deposits back. Felix knew they had a good reason for doing it, but if he refunded all of them, he’d be in serious trouble.
His social media accounts were all locked out for rule violations. What the fuck was that all about? All he posted were his portraits and the occasional funny meme or cute cat picture.
There had been no new enquiries over the last few days either, and he always had a couple each day. He couldn’t believe it, and wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. Between now and the end of the year, he had only two gigs, and he wasn’t sure whether they’d be canceled as well. Did he reach out to confirm, or would that tempt fate? The last thing he needed was to have to find more money. Many of these jobs had been booked months ago, and the deposit money was long gone. This was one of the busiest months of the year. January was dead, and he relied on the holidays to carry him through to Valentine’s Day when things picked up again. No matter which way he looked at it, he was fucked.
His phone rang. It was Ryder,
“Hey.”
“Where are you, baby?”
“I had that wedding today.”
“What do you mean,had?”
“She canceled because of what was on social media.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Come back here and we’ll talk.”
“All my social media accounts are locked for rule violations.”
“I get that all the time. It’s just trolls complaining. I can show you how to sort that out.”
“I’ve had five other jobs cancel as well. I need to go home for a bit and think about what I’m gonna do to get some money in.”
He hated talking about money with other people—it was an uncomfortable topic, but he needed to deal with this. There’d be limited opportunities to find other gigs at this time of year. Very few people who paid well would be that unprepared for the holiday season.
“How much do you need?” asked Ryder.
“What do you mean?”
“How much have you lost from the cancelations?”
“They all want their deposits back, which I don’t have, so ten grand overall.”
“I’ll give you that.”
“What? No, Ryder. I’m not taking your money.”
“But it’s because of me this is happening.”
“I’m not taking your money, Ryder. That’s not why I’m with you.”
“I know that, baby. That’s why I’m offering. Please come back here and we can talk.”
There was a desperation in his voice that was setting off alarm bells. Why did he keep saying he wanted to talk? Oh, God, he wanted to break up with him. Now they’d fucked, he’d lost interest. The ten grand he was offering was tosweeten the breakup. In fact, was it even a breakup? They weren’t even in a relationship. It was all in Felix’s head, him fantasizing about the perfect man and them living happily ever after. Felix didn’t meet men like that. He met ones like Sam, who were assholes.
If this was a breakup, though, then why did he want to do it in person? Surely it would be easier to tell him now, on the phone, or even by sending a text. Felix had been dumped twice by text.
“I’m going to go home for a bit. I’ll come round later like I planned.”
Ryder sighed, clearly not happy with that response
“Okay, but promise me one thing.”
“Of course.”
