“How do you know all that already?”
“I have my sources. Very illuminating, is all I will say.”
“Please tell me you didn’t uncover dick pics.”
“Of course not. I’m a professional!”
They all cracked up laughing. Paolo had made a good point. He’d give Simon the benefit of the doubt. Jason knew he could be oversensitive and overthink things. He wasn’t a fan of change unless he was the one driving it, and Jane had been his boss for almost six years. It would take some getting used to. He knew the CEO well, and he lived and breathed their culture, so there was no way he would have hired someone who was an arsehole. Jason just needed to be patient.
Simon was a first-class arsehole!
He’d called an extended leadership team meeting at nine o’clock on a Monday morning, and he wanted everyone in the office. Jason wasn’t bothered about being in the office on a Monday, and the nine o’clock thing, although a hate crime to most people, was again something he could tolerate. What pissed him off was Simon texting on a Sunday to announce the meeting and expecting everyone to have a one-page update on their priorities for the year. First, it was only the second week of January, which would be the first week that everyone was back from leave. Who the fuck would have anything significant to update in the second week of the year? Second, and most important, Jason was stressing about this one-pager he had to pull together, so had stayed home to work on it, which had meant no dick from Patrick. Simon was blocking his orgasms. Well, not entirely, as Jason had still beaten one off to the thought of Patrick slamming his prostate repeatedly, but still, the point was made: Simon was an arsehole.
“Gabriel, do you want to kick us off?”
Damn, thought Jason. Gabriel was the learning wizard and could make a PowerPoint slide look like one of the top marketing agencies in the world had created it. Perhaps it wouldn’t be a slide. Simon hadn’t specified how he wanted the one-pager presented.
“I pulled together our top three priorities for the year on a slide,” said Gabriel, connecting his laptop to the screen.
Gabriel was a good friend, but Jason still wanted to shoot daggers at him. Thank fuck he had gone down the PowerPoint route as well. Harriet looked nervous, probably because she’d have a done a spreadsheet. She was a numbers girl and hated PowerPoint, and she was the newest member of the team after Simon. Harriet was Kelly’s replacement, andthankfully wasn’t a fan of karaoke. Jason wasn’t sure what Dexter would have done. His presentation style was as versatile as his sex life.
“Our top three priorities for the year are management and leadership development, our future skills academy, and the new learning management system,” said Gabriel.
“That’s three monumental projects to deliver in the same year. If you only had to deliver one, which would it be?”
Gabriel looked surprised at the question and put on his thinking face. Jason knew him well, and this was a “what the fuck” moment, and he was considering how best to respond.
“They all have their merits. Management and leadership development will help reduce our attrition since people leave because of poor managers.”
Simon nodded his agreement. That was ironic!
“The future skills academy will help drive business growth and make us competitive for talent. But if I had to pick, it would be the system. Our current data is terrible. Reporting requirements are increasing because of regulatory scrutiny. Better data will help inform decision making, and it’ll free up the team’s time so they can focus on more impactful work.”
Jason couldn’t help but smile. Gabriel had been banging on about how shit the system was since he started eighteen months ago. There was no way he was giving that up now he’d gotten the green light.
“Anything you want to add, Jason?” said Simon, staring at him.
“No. Nothing from me.”
“You were smiling.”
“I just know how important the new system is to Gabriel.”
“I see.”
What the fuck does that mean?
“I agree the system is the priority. It will make our lives easier, so we can focus on other things like the programmes,which have the impact on people. Can you pull together how you’re going to resource everything with your current team? We’re restricted with any new headcount right now, so we have to deliver with what we’ve got.”
This was the first Jason was hearing about a freeze on headcount. Workforce planning was his domain. Why hadn’t Simon said anything before now?
Dexter was up next, talking through his plans in talent acquisition. Simon took a similar approach by asking what his priority would be and how he would resource it. At least by not going first, Jason had time to think about what his priority would be.
“Jason, you’re up.”
He connected his laptop and pulled up his one slide, which looked slick as fuck, even if he said so himself.
“Our top three priorities are the handbook legal review, which happens every two years, when all handbooks are reviewed by external legal counsel across the eight countries we operate in. Executive succession planning is an audit action, given the changes at the top in the last twelve months. The last one is global mobility. We brought in a specialist at the end of last year, but all the business partners will need to be involved in this one, given it affects their areas.”
