I nod, willing her to go on.
“I realized you may be right, and I haven’t been able to let it go. I think there might be something wrong with me, that maybe…maybe, I need more. I wonder if the reason why is because I’m not enough for you, not enough for myself.”
“You’re enough.” I grab her face, bringing our foreheads together. “You’re enough for me. For her. You’re perfect for us.”
Her eyes flutter closed as she exhales against my lips.
“What do you mean by more, Nat? You want to date other people?”
She shakes her head, and I’m trembling with relief.
“No. I don’t want to be with anyone else. Falling…” She breathes deeply. “Falling in love with both of you is terrifying enough. I just mean…sometimes…physically…” She swallows, as if she’s searching for the words within herself. “Not always, but in some moments, I want…”
“More,” I answer for her.
She nods against me.
“Men? Women? Both?”
“Not women,” she says quickly. “Ellie is…everything. She’s perfect, so submissive, but sometimes, I want to be… I want that. I want that with men. More than one.”
I slide one hand down her cheek and neck until it’s hovering over her chest. Her heart pounds against my palm, and when she opens her eyes, they’re blazing, boring through me. Anticipation and fear and emotion war within them, like she’s already hanging on every word I say.
“I want this,” I say, pressing against her chest, over her heart. “I don’t want to share it with anyone other than El, but if I need to share your body, I can do that. I want you to feel good in every sense of the word. I want to give you the world, whateveryou want inside of it. So long as we’re safe and everyone is comfortable, I’ll give you whatever you want, Natalia.”
“Really?” she whispers. “You don’t hate me for this?”
“You have an insatiable appetite, baby, but I don’t blame you for it. I just want to make sure I get you fed.”
A slow smile spreads across her beautiful face before she grips the back of my neck and feathers her lips between mine, kissing me hard.
“And Natalia,” I rasp into her mouth.
She hums.
“I’m falling in love with you too. Both of you. Together, at the same time.” She freezes, but I continue kissing her between words. “I saw you. I’ve always seen you.”
She pulls back, staring at me with wide, shocked eyes. They're huge and sparkling and molten, like pools of chocolate, and I’m drowning in them. Drowning inher. I don’t know how she could ever believe I wouldn’t be.
“Next time you feel unsure, let me know so I can remind you.”
She blinks rapidly, emotion glistening in her gaze, before she smiles and nods, kissing me again.
CHAPTER TWELVE
ELLIE
“Hey.”I yawn as I toss my bag onto the floor and slip off my shoes, closing the front door behind me.
“Hi, angel.” Hudson steps away from the kitchen counter, where he appears to be preparing dinner—the entire house thick with the smell of garlic herb butter that has me salivating—and kisses me quickly before returning to what he was doing. “Do you want chicken or salmon?”
“If the salmon is what I’m smelling, I want that.” I laugh.
We’ve been eating incredibly healthy lately now that Hudson is cooking in accordance with the meal plan Nat’s coaches have her on so close to her performance. Her schedule is intense leading up to the competition.
Admittedly, I’ve been feeling a little lost since our Women’s Hockey season ended without an opportunity to compete in the playoffs, especially with Hudson and Natalia in the midst of their own competition season.
Still, their dedication is motivating for me, and Hudson has been assisting me with a plan for the National Team tryoutsthis summer. I missed the March opportunity, but there will be another round in August; until then, I can get prepared. After Hudson’s season ends and the arena has more open ice availability, he’s also offered to work with me one-on-one. In the meantime, we’re focusing on conditioning, and he’s even set me up with a personal trainer he worked with in the professional league.
