Present
I settle back into my seat, forcing myself to breathe. Gracie’s fine. She’s talking to Kirsten, not the ten million men who’ve been orbiting her all night.
I’ve been watching it happen, even when I shouldn’t have.
Even when I was out on the dance floor with Trish, her hands on my shoulders, her laugh too close to my ear, my attention kept slipping back across the room. Over the tops of heads. Between bodies. Always finding Gracie.
Like I’m a compass spinning and she’s my true north.
I told myself I should focus on Trish. That it was rude not to. That she deserved my attention, since I was the one who said yes to dancing with her.
But my eyes kept betraying me.
Every time someone stepped too close to Gracie. Every time a guy leaned in like he belonged there. I tracked it all without thinking, counting drinks, reading body language, noting who lingered too long.
Old habits.
Protective ones.
The guys near the bar buzzed around her like bees to honey, laughing too loud, standing too close, waiting for an opening. Like she hadn’t been handling this her whole life.
She can take care of herself. I know that.
Still, my chest tightens every time someone looks at her like she’s something to be won instead of someone who gets to choose.
She’s talking to Kirsten now. Relaxed. Safe.
I make myself look away.
I should be used to it by now.
Gracie has always been like this. Beautiful, yes, but that’s not even the whole thing. She’s smart in ways I don’t understand. Not just academically. Socially. Effortlessly. She can talk to anyone, pull a smile out of the grumpiest stranger, collect admirers without even trying.
I don’t have that.
I never did.
When we were younger, the only thing I was good at was her. Making Gracie laugh. Making her eyes light up. With everyone else, I mumbled. Stared at the floor. Forgot names five seconds after hearing them.
My social skills have gotten better since then. Mostly because I watched her. Copied the things she does without thinking.
Smile here. Joke there. Eye contact. Confidence.
It works.
Just not well enough to fool me. Not well enough to make me believe I’ll ever be on her level.
I used to think she needed me. To protect her. To watch out for her.
But tonight, I’ve seen it.
She doesn’t.
She can meet any man she wants. Make them fall in love with her without even trying. And, eventually, it will happen. It almost did with Brandon. Even though that didn’t work out, it’s only a matter of time before she falls in love, gets married, and moves on without me.
When that truth finally settles in, my heart breaks a little.
Because if she doesn’t need my protection anymore, then maybe I’m not her constant, her safety, her person.
