My head tips back against the wall. I watch the ceiling fans spin until they blur. The alcohol makes everything feel a little floaty, but the truth stays sharp.
“Someone who lets me be wrong sometimes. Who doesn’t make me feel stupid for it. Who listens when I ramble and doesn’t rush me.” I huff a quiet laugh. “Someone who makes me feel chosen. Not in a grand way. Just…steady.”
I lower my chin, my voice softer now.
“And…” My cheeks warm. “I want him to look at me like I’m the only woman in the room.”
“Gracie,” Kirsten whispers. “Open your eyes.”
I do.
He’s there.
Standing across the room.
Beck.
He lifts his eyebrows. It’s hisare you okaylook. He’s been giving me that look since kindergarten. Across playgrounds. Across classrooms. And now, across this bar.
I give him a small nod.I’m fine.
His shoulders relax. He flashes me a quick smile and turns back to the table with our friends.
“You know the guy you just described?” Kirsten says softly.
“Yeah?”
“It’s Beck. He’s all of that. At least to you.”
“Don’t,” I say, rolling my eyes. “We’ve had this conversation before.”
Kirsten straightens. Steps closer. Her cheeks are flushed, and is she…mad? She never gets mad. Even when we argue, it’s calm. Logical. Controlled.
“Gracie Ann Smith.” She grips my shoulders and gives me a small shake. “We graduate in three months. We’re not kids anymore. I will not stand by while you throw away the one man who’s loved you your entire life.”
I try to pull back. She doesn’t let me.
“Listen to me,” she says, holding my gaze. “You are going to lose him if you keep this up. Beck.” Her voice drops. “And it’s going to be the worst mistake of your life.”
Panic flares, sharp and sudden.
She can’t be right.
Beck’s been with me forever. He always will be.
Except…not the last couple of months.
When he stopped taking my calls.
Barely texted back.
And for the first time tonight, I let myself wonder what happens ifthis, this distance, this drift,isn’ttemporary?
What if I’m actually losing him?
What if it’s my fault?
Beck
