“I can.”Niko’s voice is that of the Carrion King. Commanding and sure, with an edge of viciousness. “Everything, Willa.”
His words are an echo of my own, spoken so long ago amongst shattered glass and sweaty skin.Everything. Give me everything.
“All your darkness, all your goodness…all your pleasure and pain. Give me everything. Let me take it.”
His words unravel something inside me—not the Queen of Dreams, nor the savior of the island—but the terrified girl who spent her life on the run. The most exhausted, vulnerable parts of me that wished so desperately in the bellies of dungeons for someone to ease the burden.
“I can take it, Willa,” Niko whispers against my skin, his breath cooling the burn of my skin. “Death is not destroyed by darkness. I will be your anchor. You will not be lost in the shadows.”
I meet his gaze, falling into the mad obsession still shining in the terrible void of onyx. No matter how horrid I am, no matter the ugliness I show him—Niko has never wavered. And he doesn’t now, as he nods steadily, his death wreathed around him like a halo of vengeance.
With a sob of relief, I let it all go. The shame, and the darkness, and the violence, and the hunger. All of it bursts from my mouth and eyes and skin, rushing from me like a savage shroud.
And it’s all I can do to hold tightly to Niko—to pray to the second star that it will not be cruel enough to take him from me again—as my shadow descends on us both.
Chapter thirty-four
My fear is a physical thing, acidic both in the air and in my veins, as the malignant void races toward Niko, the same as it had with Sam—intent on devouring every piece of him until there is nothing left.
But my shadow does not slice Niko’s skin.
It doesn’t touch him it at all.
Because his ribbons rise between us, their icy silk writhing like sentient armor. My shadow that had been so untenable, so horrible, that it slashed straight through Sam, and felled so many others—disappears entirely into the void of Niko’s death.
His eyes roll shut, a deep moan escaping him as his body arches against mine, undulating in the same manner as his ribbons. As they absorb every bit of my darkness, it seems as though Niko does, too.
I blink rapidly, studying the flutter of his lashes, the wicked curve of his mouth. A ball of emotion forms in my throat as a foreign lightness spreads through me, pure and unencumbered.For an absurd moment, I don’t know whether to sob or laugh or collapse to the ground.
I only know I’ve been existing beneath the weight of the world; crawling and scraping beneath an indelible sky, trapped without air. And as Niko inhales the last of my shadows, I can breathe for the first time since I anchored myself to Letum.
His body tightens and his ribbons give one last great shudder. Fear spikes through me that he has ruined himself for me—that he has tithed another irrevocable piece.
“Niko,” I whisper, his name soft and ragged with everything unspoken between us.
When he opens his eyes, a wet sob bursts from my throat like a maelstrom of emotion has been set loose between my lips. Because his gaze is the same as it always is—possessive, cruel, clever. My shadow did not ruin him—Ihave not ruined him.
Niko swipes a tear away from my cheek with his thumb. They come freely now, like everything I’ve pushed down over the past year has come pouring out.
“How did you know?” My words are thick, choked by emotion. “How did you know you wouldn’t be hurt?”
Niko gathers my hair at the nape of my neck, running his other hand over my bare shoulders and dipping beneath the sheet to trace the curve of my spine. Like now that he’s begun touching me, he can’t bring himself to stop.
“I didn’t,” he admits. “Not for sure, at least. But after a talk with a siren, and an interaction with Peter’s magic, I had a theory.”
I hit him in the arm, but it is half-hearted at best. “How could you do that?” I demand, wiping my cheek with the back of my hand. “How could you take that risk?”
He doesn’t answer. Only grins and grabs my wrist before I can hit him again, using it to pull me so tightly against him, one wrong move will have the sheet dropping to the floor.
“Love me or hate me if you must, Darling,” His words are hardly more than a susurrus against my skin. “My death has been yours since the beginning. And it will eternally be yours to use as you need.”
Eternally.
The word dissipates the cool calm, scattering my thoughts once more. After everything, he still implicitly trusts me not to hurt him. And in a way, hadn’t I done the same when I’d crawled to him at my weakest moment?
He’d lain himself down in front of my shadows, and I’d given up everything to bring him back to life.
All we’ve ever done is give up pieces for one another, and it has never been enough.
