I shoot him a dirty look, but he’s already turned back to Sam. “Did you bring a carriage, or shall we enjoy a nice walk back to the Lunaedon?”
“You appear to be in perfect shape to walk, sir,” Sam replies flatly. “Not at all like you’ve spent three nights lingering on the edge of death. In tip top shape, really. I’m sure a grueling hike through the woods is just what the doctor ordered.”
My heart leaps at Sam’s words, because though they’re dripping with sarcasm, they’ve solidified my own worries. The unease that pulsed through me as I kneeled beside Niko on thebeach, watching as his eyes rolled back and his body contorted; worry that this was not just an episode, but something that could ultimatelykillhim.
What will happen to Letum if Niko dies? What will happen tome?
What Sam is trying to say is that you look like absolute shit and would probably keel over before we made up the sand, so of course we brought a carriage,Marina adds bluntly.
Niko’s mouth flattens. “You do have a way with words, Rina.” He sighs again, this one of resignation. “I am horribly sorry for worrying you, Samuel,” he says with dramatic patience. “Would you please assist me to where our carriage waits?”
Sam narrows his eyes, not at all appeased. But in the next moment the air draws thick and warm around us, just as it had before I’d fallen asleep in the courtyard. Now, though, I detect the individual tendrils of Sam’s power, the soft caresses and soothing eddies of it. Niko’s eyes roll closed, before blinking slowly back open again. He lets out a small exhale of relief, a groan of pleasure so soft, it brings an embarrassing flush to my skin.
Niko swallows, leaning his head back as Sam’s power washes over him. With a deep breath, he takes his first step toward the forest. His legs wobble slightly beneath him, but Sam makes no move to shoulder his weight.
Instead, he flicks his braids over his shoulder and takes Niko’s boots and cloak from him. “This way, sir,” he says gently.
Slowly, we all make our way up the sand and into the forest. One of the gilded black carriages waits only a few steps into the shadows, and upon seeing its gleaming exterior, a pervasive sense of relief overcomes me that we won’t be trekking further into the depths of the trees.
Niko’s ribbons slither behind him. The plants around him curl and wither with each step, like he’s too exhausted to control hispower. As I watch one of the electric blue flowers crumble into dust, a deep sadness washes over me.
Niko winces, his movements stilted and pained as he climbs into the carriage, and the sadness balloons until I feel it in every corner of my chest, a hollow, tragic thing.For him,I realize. How terrible to be surrounded by beauty, to have it so close, and never be able to touch it without destroying its very essence. Perhaps it’s worse than never having it at all.
Marina nods to where Sam and Niko have disappeared into the carriage.I haven’t seen him this bad in a long time.Her gaze isn’t judgmental as she sets it on me, only curious.You’re the one who saved him, aren’t you? That got him into the Crocodile before they could come for him?
I nod. “It was only fair. He saved me first.”
Marina doesn’t appear at all surprised by Niko hurting himself to help me. She only nods, signing,Then I suppose I have to thank you. For bringing him back to us.
When she turns toward the carriage, something has me putting a hand on her shoulder to stop her. Marina flinches at my touch and I immediately pull away, remembering the expanse of gnarled scars.
“Marina…him choosing to be kind sometimes doesn’t excuse him hurting you.”
Marina stiffens, and her small mouth thins into a sharp line as she raises her chin.Niko does not hurt me.
“I understand now, how much pain he’s in—”
You understand nothing.
“But your voice…your wings…there’s no amount of his pain that means you deserve yours.”
Marina flinches, as if the memories of her missing pieces still pain her. But she gathers herself with admirable strength, her signs fierce and sure, brooking no room for argument.I don’tknow how you suddenly understand me, but I’m glad you do, so that you can know this and know it well.
She inhales sharply and plants her feet.
Niko has done a thousand things wrong in his long life. He has death in his heart and in his hands, and it is rare that he can see beyond them. But he has never once hurt me. Not even when I was his enemy, and he had every reason to rot me from the inside out.
My eyes widen at the fierce protectiveness in both her words and her stance. “Then who?” I ask softly.
The last king.Marina’s gaze is both solemn and fearful as she slowly spells out,Pan.
Chapter twenty
When the carriage reaches the Lunaedon, I go straight to my chambers without a word. I don’t miss the flash of Willa’s fury as I slip into the cool entrance hall of the castle, but it’s all I can do to make it up the stairs without tumbling back down them. Words are beyond me, the answers she desires further beyond that.
My head is swimming, and every muscle feels crafted from sharp glass, scraping at my skin and piercing through my organs. I pushed myself too far, and a few hours of fitful sleep was only enough to take a fraction of the edge off. If the Strayed were to attack any part of the kingdom right now, I’d be useless to stop it.
They’ve been known to retaliate within hours of an affront, as self-restraint has never been one of their strong suits. In the centuries they’ve been alive, the selfish impulsiveness natural to the young has twisted into something far more malevolent—something never satiated. There is never enough violence,enough depravity, to fill the hollow carved by years of eternal childhood.
