I still don’t know if what Niko said was true. My thoughtshadbeen heated after he’d stripped down—the long, lean muscles, the tattooed designs decorating every inch of him. His body is living art, and I’d been shamefully hungry for more of it. Buthad I truly wished my desires into reality with some mysterious magic I’ve never even felt an inkling of?
I don’t feel powerful. I feel the same as I have my whole life—exhausted and on edge.
Maybe Niko had simply been amusing himself at my expense. He’s seen the way I claw every bit of power I can from the world around me, hoarding the small slivers of it and trying to press them together into something useable. Promising me what the world has always denied—self-authority—was the easiest way for him to gain my complicity.
My cheeks heat at the thought. I stomp up onto the warm sand after Niko with every intention of demanding he tell me everything, but a shout from the trees kills the words in my throat. My heart stutters in terror, images of Dawson returning for revenge beginning to take shape in my mind, but when I follow Niko’s gaze to the tree line, it’s to find Sam’s familiar outline.
He thunders down the beach toward the king, sand spraying behind his large leather boots. Marina hurries behind him, her gait so delicate, she appears to be floating over the beach. Their faces are both pinched with worry, and dark smudges of exhaustion stain the skin beneath their eyes as they come skidding to a stop before us.
There is no bowing, nor any of the royal greetings I’ve come to expect.
Instead, Sam thwacks Niko’s arm with the blunt of his sword. “Where the fuck have you been?”
The frown twisting his mouth only deepens as he takes in the drained pallor of Niko’s skin and the way his ribbons, normally so lively, now drape listlessly over his shoulders.
Niko straightens, tilting his head. Despite sleeping for hours, he looks only fractionally better than he had when he’d beenunconscious. Like whatever his magic drained from him has yet to fully return.
“We had a slight tussle,” he replies lightly. “And were laying low while I recovered.”
“Aslighttussle?” Sam repeats. “Niko, we’ve been searching for you for three days!”
I whip my head to Niko in shock.Three days?How is that possible? We’d been in the cave for six hours at most, the tide only rising and receding once. Then I remember his words, the ones I’d written off as seizure induced nonsense:the Crocodile eats time itself.
I open my mouth to ask, but Sam isn’t finished. And though his voice is still soft and smooth, there’s a sharp edge of anger beneath it. “When I got back from the Grove, Marina told me you came to the beach to find Willa. And when we got here, there were dead Strayed everywhere. So many of them, Niko.”
Sam’s voice breaks, and his fear pours from the fracture. He’d seen the amount of magic Niko used to protect me, and he’d been terrified at what the cost had been. “We’ve been scouring the island for any sign of either of you. Tiernan is still out searching the mountains. Niko…” Sam swears and shakes his head. “Marina was getting ready to use her magic to find out if Dawson took you alive or dead.”
I glance sidelong at the pixie, wondering what power Letum has granted her, but she has eyes only for Niko. Her expression is vicious as she signs so furiously at him, her entire body shakes with each sharp gesture.
The king, who I’ve never seen give thought to how his actions affect anyone but himself, takes each of her words like a blow to the chest. As each one lands, he flinches, his expression one of resigned guilt. Like he deserves everything she throws at him.
When she’s finished, Niko dips his head in understanding and to my shock, begins to sign back. I stare at him in disbelief ashis gloved fingers move gently, wondering what kind of man disfigures someone, and then learns to speak their language. Was it guilt that drove him to it, similar to what exists on his face now? Had he lashed out in a fit of pain and later, tried to make amends? Perhaps this is the version of Niko Marina sees when she looks at him—not the violent tyrant, but the man who learned how to listen to her.
Whatever Niko says appears to soothe both Marina and Sam’s panic, the terror on their face slowly ebbing, giving way to clear relief that their king is alive. The air seems to stretch between the three of them, like tethers are woven through their hearts. Their bodies lean toward each other in a familiarity that makes me ache. For a moment, I think Sam will pull Niko into a hug, but something holds him in place, and he just looks at his friend with an expression torn wide open. Allowing Niko to see everything he felt during his absence.
The moment is so intimate it brings a lump to my throat. I should look away, as none of it is meant for me, but something keeps me frozen in place. Something like dark jealousy and acute longing, that have tangled up in the pit of my stomach. I’ve been alone for so long, there is no one to worry if I don’t return. No one to wait up, no one to ensure I’m okay.
I thought it’s what I wanted. To be invisible. To disappear.
But if there’s no one to hold onto you when you cannot hold onto yourself, what’s to keep you from slipping away entirely? Even Niko, a man filled with horror and death, has people to worry for him. To carry some of the burden of living, to pull him back when he’s wandered too far.
Marina signs again, and for a small, ridiculous, moment, I imagine it’smeher worry is for. Me who understands her words, who she cares for, who she worries about returning home.
I swear to the star above, Niko, if you do something like that to us again, I’ll find a way to strangle you with your own fucking ribbons.
A strangled guffaw of laughter escapes me at Marina’s words. I clamp my hand over my mouth, as all three pairs of eyes snap to mine in surprise. “I’m sorry, I just—”
I justwhat?Suddenly understood an entire language without any training?
“I—uh…think I got the gist of what you were saying.”
It sounds ridiculous, even to my own ears, but Marina’s brows lower warily. Slowly, she signs,Can you understand this?
My own brow knits together as the sign for ‘I guess so’flows easily through my fingers. Like I’ve known the words my entire life. “I don’t know how.”
Marina glances at Niko, her gaze slightly confused and highly suspicious. But if the king has any ideas, he offers no explanation.
His face is calculating as he watches me through narrowed eyes for a beat too long, before that cruel smile returns to his face. “Darling…this may come as a shock to someone like yourself who possesses such an alarming lack of decorum, but it’s considered rude to interrupt conversations you weren’t invited to.”
