Alve squeezed my hand, reigniting the sensation of our connection. “I won’t tell you to stop thinking that way, because I know you can’t control it, but my answer is the same as Jude’s and Leo’s. I understand where you’re coming from. My anxiety whispers similar things, and I’ve had to rely on the bond to tell me the truth. Every time we touch, the bond gives a little spark of happiness, so I never have to doubt how you feel. It’s a difficult thing to deal with, and it may never go away, but I do believe it can get quieter with time. Therapy and medication also help. I’ve done both, so if you have any questions, I’m happy to answer.”
“I might, thank you.”
“You already know how I feel,” said Nathan. “I’m a happy camper over here with my new girlfriend and boyfriend. You’re stuck with me.”
I pulled in a breath and released it slowly, letting myself sink into my connections. The bond held only warmth, and the men around me offered the same. Maybe things wouldn’t always be this way, but was there anything wrong with enjoying it now?
Anxiety whispered that of course there waseverythingwrong with it. If I didn’t worry, how could I be prepared for the inevitable end? Except, I couldn’t deny that what I experienced right now was different than anything I’d ever had before. Even if I ended up being the red flag in this pack, I wouldn’t do what others had done to me. I wanted to be better. For myself and forthem. If this future was really mine to claim, then I had to do my best to not allow my anxiety to cheat me out of it.
Maybe I was still working on believing I deserved it, buttheybelieved it, and for now, that could be enough.
“They’re going to love you,” I promised. I had repeated the words at least a dozen times this morning, but Madison was still so nervous for the cookout.
I’d warned my family in advance not to bombard her, no matter how excited they were, though I wasn’t sure how well they would listen. They were ready to welcome her in if shewould allow it. I was pretty sure she would, once she got over the initial stage fright of being thrust in front of my extended family.
We’d worked together all Friday night and Saturday morning to prepare our food contributions. Leo had guided us through Mexican street corn, Alve had put together onigiri with a practiced hand, Nathan had whipped up a Greek salad, and Madison and I had baked a peach cobbler and a cherry pie. Cooking with my pack had quickly become one of my favorite activities. At first, we kind of stumbled over each other in the kitchen, but now we’d figured out a flow, everyone completing their tasks without much struggle.
“They’re going to love you, too.” I took Alve’s hand and gave it a squeeze. He had been white-knuckling the peach cobbler pan the same as Madison, where she held the tray of foil-wrapped street corn. “You guys, I promise they’re not scary. I already told them all about you.”
I laid my arm over the back of the bench seating so Madison could lean her head on me and I could gently grasp Alve’s shoulder.
Leo turned in the passenger seat to look at us. “Does everyone remember the signal?”
Madison and Alve both nodded. We’d come up with a password—Eclipse—and a hand signal—crossed fingers adjusting hair—so that if anyone was overwhelmed, we could usher them somewhere quiet if they were too nervous to make the request. I was used to big crowds at family events, and Leo was used to it with his work. Nathan was completely unfazed, looking like an absolute snack in the driver seat.
We pulled up to a street crammed full of vehicles, people spilling all over my parents’ front yard. Music flowed over us as we stepped out, along with the cacophony of voices.
My youngest sister, Jasmine, noticed us first and let out a shriek of excitement, flinging herself straight into my arms. “You’re here!”
Her announcement was a herald to the others, their heads swiveling in our direction.
“Jazz, this is supposed to be chill. I was hoping to do introductions one at a time.”
“Better to jump in the deep end or you’ll be doing intros the entire cookout.” Jazz was on Madison the second my girl was out of the car, hugging her so tightly, Madison’s feet left the ground. “I’m so excited to meet you! Jude hasn’t shut up about you for years. In a cute way, I promise.”
My omega’s eyes were enormous when Jazz released her, and I stepped closer to loop my arm around her waist. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”
“Maddie, this is my baby sister, Jasmine.”
“But call me Jazz.” She smiled widely, flipping her braids over her shoulder.
By this time, the others had rolled up too. “Okay, line up so I can introduce everyone at once.”
My siblings smiled and fell in line across from my pack.
“Pack, these are the triplets: Aaliyah, Aisha, and Amara; the twins, Selene and Serenity; and the other twins, Jazz and Jax. Fam, this is Madison, Nathan, Leo, and Alve.” I turned to my pack. “There are more, but no one expects you to remember all the names. Amara and Selene both have packs, and then there’s our parents and grandparents, plus all the aunts and uncles, and I’m pretty sure there’s a fair few neighbors and friends wandering around as well.”
Alve tapped away on his phone.
“Are you taking notes?” Jazz asked, peeking at the screen.
“Remembering names might not be an expectation, but I’m going to do my best regardless.”
“I bought name tags for today only, since we have newbies,” Amara told us. “Jude told us you might be overwhelmed by the crowd, so hopefully this helps you get better acquainted.” She produced a roll of blank stickers and quickly filled out her own and our siblings’ names and how they were connected to me beneath it, sticking it to each person in turn. She glanced at my pack. “Spell your names for me.”
Madison went first.
“What do you want me to put underneath? Jude’s girlfriend or Jude’s omega?”
