My pack was hovering in the hall when Nathan walked out carrying me.
“Omega acquired. Let’s roll out.” Nathan kept walking, the others following. “You’re taking time for our class tomorrow, too. It’ll be good for you.”
“If you want to go,” Jude said, falling into place next to us, “my parents are having a cookout on Saturday and my family really wants to meet you. We wouldn’t have to stay long.”
Nerves tumbled through me. I had bonded half the pack, so meeting families had to be a sooner rather than later step. “Do you think they’ll like me?”
“I think they’ll love you. I may have mentioned you a time or two, so I’m anticipating a lot of opinions. Good ones,” he clarified.
“I can meet everyone. I’ll be nervous as hell, but I’ve been a little selfish keeping all of you tucked away.”
“Recovering from a crisis demands selfishness,” said Leo. “You have to feel safe before we bend to family obligations.”
“Exactly,” said Nathan. “We’ll balance it all.”
We passed the evening quietly, my pack coaxing Pepper to lie on me during movie night so I was bound by the cosmic lawsof the universe to not move. Luckily for everyone, I didn’t want to move anyway. Jude lay on his side, tucked between me and the back of the couch so he could hold me, and we both had our heads on Nathan’s lap. Leo sat on a cushion in front of us, feeding me bits of popcorn every so often. Poppy was in her now-usual spot on Alve’s lap, purring away while he stroked her fur.
This was the sort of thing I’d always dreamed of. I’d never been surrounded by people who made me feel loved in the silence. Growing up, and while living with Tyler, silence had meant something was wrong, but here, it meant we were comfortable. I couldn’t even convince myself otherwise, because Alve and Leo were so content in the bond that my thoughts had no opportunity to twist themselves into knots, wondering if it was all an act.
Pepper ran her little motor in full loaf mode, eyes closed in bliss while Jude scratched behind her ears. They were happy here, too. My cats had always avoided Tyler, but they had adapted immediately to my pack, settling right in like it had always been this way.
I sighed, letting my fingers toy with the ends of Leo’s hair. How could something as simple as a movie night with my pack feel so monumental?
Nathan’s hand on my head startled me. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I was just musing.”
“About?”
“The future.”
“In a good way?” Jude asked.
“Yes. I know this isn’t our first movie night, but I sort of realized that this is what things will probably look like going forward. I never got to relax in my living room growing up, and I spent a lot of time in my nest when I was living with Tyler. My nest was my safe space, but now it feels likethismight be my new one. Not the living room itself, but all of us here.”
“Good job, team.” Nathan grinned, his thumb lightly stroking my hair.
Jude chuckled, nestling closer. “I wasn’t a living room kid either, but that’s because my sisters hogged the couches. I’m glad to be part of your safe space.”
Alve reached for me, equally as unable to move as I was with a cat on top of him. I laced our fingers together.
Leo had turned so he could face me, a gentle smile on his face. “This is pretty much what I wanted for you since we met. I’d hoped I could be part of it, but I never banked on that. So long as someone made sure you were safe, I’d resolved to be content with that.”
“I thought it would all be a lot harder,” I confessed. “The bonds make everything easier. My anxiety can’t lie to me when the counterpoints to everything it might say are shining on me like a spotlight. I mean, it tries, but it can’t yell the way it used to.”
Leo brushed his knuckles over my cheek and gave Pepper some love too when she turned plaintive eyes on him. “What does your anxiety try to say?”
“You know, the usual.”
“You’re going to have to be specific. I’m blessedly not familiar with anxiety the way it seems you and Alve are.”
“Oh, um, just intrusive thoughts, I guess. That you secretly hate me, or resent being here, being bonded. That this is all going to collapse out from under me.” I swallowed hard. “That I’m too broken to ever be the omega any of you deserve.”
Leo looked horrified, and a pulse of panic slipped down the bond. I suppose that was a normal response for someone who’d never had those thoughts float around their head on repeat. He took my free hand in his. “I wish I could tell your thoughts to leave you alone because all of that is lies. I could never hate you, and I don’t resent you or the bond. I’ve wanted a pack mywhole life and I’m glad it’s this one, that we’re building a future together.”
“Maddie,” Jude said softly, “I know you don’t have a bond with me so you’re going to have to settle for the words, but I swear none of that is true for me. I’ve been dreaming of you for years, and it doesn’t matter to me how much support you need to feel safe. I’m happy to be here.”
Nerves twisted in my stomach.
