“Mmhmm. Worn out,” she said through a yawn. “Me too.”
I nodded. “I can tell.”
She didn’t say anything; just undid her seatbelt and got out of the car. Before she could go to the backseat to grab Sparkle, I told her I had it. She walked away, heading into the house without a thank you, or an okay. I mean, she didn’t need to thank me, but a little acknowledgement would’ve been nice.
I was bugging.
With a sigh, I got out of the car and grabbed both Sparkle and Honesty after shaking Gabe awake. Once we got into the crib, Gabe went straight to his room, and I carried Honesty and Spark to theirs. When they were settled, I jogged back down the stairs, following the sound of glass clinking, telling me that Mahogany was in the wine glass cabinet about to pour up. She had four drinks at the party. I watched her. Counted. I wasn’t monitoring her liquor intake or shit like that… just keeping an eye on her. She was overdoing it though.
I walked into the dimly lit kitchen just as she was pouring Caymus into one of the bigger wine glasses.
“Shit, I need one of them muthafuckas too,” I said with a smirk, as an icebreaker.
I wanted to address her mood, but I didn’t know how to approach. Shit, I was right back to walking on eggshells.
She took a sip from her glass, glanced at me and said nothing. With a deep breath, I walked over to the liquor cabinet and grabbed a bottle of Don. Didn’t have to sneak to drink tonight. The shit was warranted. I was the one who needed a drink, for real since I was the designated driver and didn’t hit the bar once.
After grabbing a glass, I poured a shot, tossed it back, and poured another one before heading back over to the island where she was sitting.
I pulled a barstool out, sat down, and ran my fingers along the rim of the glass, watching her. She had her head down, scrolling TikTok. Video after video, she scrolled and scrolled and scrolled, paying no attention to the content. Something was up. When I heard her scroll by one of those spiritual videos, I knew something was up.
“You good?”
“Hm?” She asked, looking up at me. Briefly. Didn’t even look at me for two seconds.
“I said, you good? You been a little?—”
“Don’t start that shit, Ducati,” Mahogany mumbled.
I drew back, shook my head, and let out another deep breath. “I’m just saying, Ne. You been a little off since I got home from work. I’m trying to make sure?—”
“Make sure what? That we still ‘locked in’? Yeah, Duke, we’re locked in. I been busy as hell all day. I’m tired. That’s all. Please don’t start overthinking. You were on edge this morning, too. Do I have to keep giving you reassurance? Or are we going to get through this without me having to always be okay with a smile on my face?”
That was the most she’d said to me all fuckin’ night.
“My bad. Maybe I am in my head.”
She nodded. “Maybe you are. I’m just tired, babe. That’s it. Can I be drained without you thinking something else? Can I joke with you without you taking me seriously?”
I had been on fuck shit all day. This morning, when she mentioned the bank statements, I did snap a little. And all day, I had been worried about her actually checking them. Maybe I was in my head. Had to be. If she had checked them, the conversation would’ve gone in a completely different direction.
Shaking my head, I picked my glass up and finished my shot. I needed to get my shit together. The guilt I was wearing was weighing me down. I was paranoid as hell and for no reason because my wife, was still my wife and we were steady trying. It was the secret driving me crazy, making me think she was cold. Making me think she knew something she clearly did not know.
"My bad, baby. Shit,” I said, apologetically.
She stared at me for a couple of seconds, gave a soft smile, nodded, and finished her drink off. “I’m tired. I’m about to call it a night.”
After sitting her glass down, she walked off but before she could walk by me, I wrapped my arm around her waist, stoppingher. She tensed up. I leaned my head over to the side a little and asked, “See? What’s that?”
“A need for patience. We talked about that. You want me to stay locked in—I need you to give me patience.”
“Come here,” I said, with my eyes on her lips.
“Duke—“
“I fucked up. I’m fuckin’ up. I know. I can’t get a kiss good night, though?”
I watched her jaws as she clenched. With a deep breath, she leaned forward and gave me lips I wanted to kiss all night.
