I saton the side of the hospital bed, looking down at him with tears in my eyes. Duke. He was in the hospital. Had gotten into a car accident and had just gotten out of surgery. The hospital called me a couple of hours ago. I was with Crescent and left as soon as I heard Ducati Morris and critical condition in the same sentence. Was it dumb? Me running to his side? It didn’t matter what it was; I couldn’t just stay where I was. I couldn’t just pretend nothing happened and like the call never came through. Ihadto show up. It wasn’t that I wanted to—I literally had to. Not because legally, I was still his wife but because the itsy-bitsy bit of love I had for him wouldn’t see it any other way.
With a deep breath, I pushed up from the chair, grabbed my purse, and walked out into the hallway to call the kids.
I paced, as I listened to Aubry’s phone ring. After a couple of rings, she picked up.
“Hey ma,” she said.
“Hey boo. Listen,” I paused. “Your daddy was in a car accident?—”
“He was what? Oh my God, is he okay?” She yelled, interrupting me.
“In a car accident. Yes, he’s okay. He just got out of surgery and?—”
“Wait,” she paused. “What is he even doing here? I thought he was in Ohio.”
“He was,” I lied, shaking my head, rolling my eyes. “He… he just got here. Where the kids? I need you to make sure they do their chores and their homework. You too. Don’t think I don’t know you’ve been slacking, Aubry.”
“Can we come down there?” She asked, ignoring me. “Are you sure he’s going to be alright?”
I looked back toward the room where he laid in bed, with a broken arm, and a couple of broken ribs. “Yeah, he’ll be alright.”
He would be just fine. Which was why I needed to leave. I’d been sitting on side of this bed, watching him sleep for about an hour, mind racing when my feet should have been moving. I was stuck. Cemented by fear, the same way I’d been in our marriage. Today was different. Today was a little earth shattering. I was laid up, fucking and sucking on another man while my husband got into a car accident. I was oblivious, in bliss, having the time of my life when he could have lost his. I was… shaken.
That thought… the thought of losing him… it left me shaken. Regardless of where we stood... regardless of what he’d done... he was Ducati Morris, and he’d been a major part of my life for more than half of it.
“Listen,” I said to Aubry, as I continued to pace. “I’ll be home in about an hour or so, okay?”
“When is he coming home? How long will he be in there, ma?”
When was he coming home.
Home. I didn’t want him there. I wasn’t quite ready for him to be back in the house but at this point, what choice did I have? What fight did I have? Not only did he need help but if he didn’t come home, the kids would wonder why, and it’d be a bigthing with him just getting into an accident. Life was stacked up against me.
“I don’t know anything right now, Bry. Everything just happened. We will talk when I get there.”
I didn’t want to answer any more questions. Didn’t want her to be more inquisitive than she already was. Answering questions about Duke and home made me extremely uncomfortable.
After getting off with her, I took a deep breath and went back into the room, when I was supposed to be calling his mother. I should have but I was in no mood to talk to Adena. All he suffered were a few broken bones—he could call her ass himself when he woke up.
Stepping into the hospital room, seeing him laid up, sleep in bandages made my heart ache a little. I was pathetic.Thiswas pathetic, but the reality of it was I’d almost lost him. The truck was totaled—he could have lost his life. Then what? Then what would have happened? What would have become of me then? How would I have taken that? That’s what I’d been doing since I’d been here, sitting up thinking about what would have happened if he died and we weren’t speaking. If he died while we were fighting.
It wasn’t that I wanted to throw in the white flag and surrender. I didn’t want to fix things. Didn’t want to forgive, forget, and welcome Diary into our home with opened arms. I wanted this to end. The fight. The silence. The hatred. I just wanted it to be over, with no bad blood in between.
Duke cheated.
He cheated and in the middle of it, he got someone pregnant. I’d like to say he lied to me for years about it but apparently, he just found out about the little girl. Still… he lied. He lied for months. Smiled in my face and lived a double life. Did me dirty. Fucked a bitch raw and probably came home that same nightand fucked me raw too. What he did was unforgivable, but I couldn’t just… hate him. Not like I had been. Today rattled me and?—
He coughed.
Caught me off guard so bad I jumped, the keys attached to my purse rattling, getting his attention. Slowly, he turned to face me. His eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed.
“What happened?” He asked.
I sighed and scratched at the back of my head. “You got into a car accident.”
“Ssss,” he hissed in pain. “Fuck. I did?”
I nodded. “Mmhmm. Hit your head on the window so you have a mild concussion. Broke your arm and a couple of your ribs. Hold on, let me tell the nurse you up.”
