I didn’t say anything—I kept towards the door, my heart racing like a muthafucka. I mean, if she left, I could always call her right? But something told me that it wasreallynow or never. I couldn’t shake the feeling. It was unsettling as hell.
When I made it to the door, Lil’ Marv said something to me about cuzzo and them. I couldn’t tell you exactly what he said because I didn’t give a fuck enough to pay attention.
I pushed the door open and rushed out. When I saw that her and Tamia were a couple of feet away from her car, I exhaled, relieved that I had caught her in time.
“Mahogany,” I called out, walking up behind them.
Tamia looked over her shoulder first, and then she did right after. Slowly. As if she really didn’t want to turn. I let it go, chalking it up to her really being in her feelings about Reign. Women were like that. Shit was good at the property when I invited her. The only explanation for her off-putting attitude tonight was Reign and that was nothing. I could get by that, easily.
“Yeah?” She answered.
“You leaving already?” I asked, standing in front of her, my heart steady racing.
I stuffed my hands into my pockets and locked eyes with her. I didn’t know what else to say. I was at a loss for words. Since knowing Mahogany, I’d never been speechless or unsure of myself. Tonight, however, I didn’t know where to begin. Was I supposed to tell her I missed her? Be completely transparent and tell her about the way I felt? Should I tell her I was incapable of letting her leave? Be open? Knowing what I knew? After experiencing what I experienced with her, with the back and forth and uncertainty?
Something in me said yes. Told me to be honest. To give it to her real and raw. I was supposed to speak from a place I’d never spoken before. We couldn’t part ways without a reconciliation. She couldn’t leave without me fixing us. As if it was up to me to fix. I didn’t rip us a part. I didn’t put distance between us.
I sighed and pulled my lips into my mouth.
Who got us here didn’t matter.
It was up to me to fix because she wouldn’t do it. Mahogany never went for what she wanted. There was always something standing in the way.
She shrugged. “Yeah. I figured it was time for me to go.”
“You were just going to leave without saying bye?”
Her eyes softened and the hard exterior she’d had up all day, fell off. “I didn’t want to say goodbye.”
“That’s rude,” I joked, stalling, steady trying to find the right words.
She didn’t say anything. Pursed her lips together and looked away. I tilted my head to the side a bit to catch her eye. Turning back to face me, she crossed her arms over her chest and stared up at me.
“Why you lookin at me like that, Mo?” I asked before biting down on my bottom lip.
“I’m looking at you a certain way?”
I brushed my hand over the side of my face, looked away with a smile and shook my head. “The young lady you saw me with? Nova’s momma. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Her eyebrows raised a bit and she shrugged her right shoulder. “Why you telling me?”
She was coy, trying to pretend she hadn’t been giving me fucked up looks all night because she thought me and Reign were more than parents to our deceased daughter.
I stepped forward, closing the space between us. “Because you wanted to know.”
“No, I didn’t,” she said, pushing her shoulders back, forcing confidence.
I squinted with a smile. Nodding, I said, “Alright Mahogany.”
Silence greeted us again and I was left wondering what to do next. I had to say something. Had to do something. Couldn’t just stand there, staring at her. She had a look of wonder in her eyes. A look that was short lived because after standing there for far too long, she sighed and told me to have a good night.
When she pivoted to walk away, I reached out and touched her arm, tingles shooting through my fingertips. Electricity.
“I can’t let you leave,” I admitted, gripping her arm, turning her to face me. “Not yet. Not until I… make the world right again.”
She made a face. “Make the world right again?”
“Mhm,” I hummed. “Myworld.”
